The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/22/06
Without spacing between paragraphs, it makes this a daunting task for a reader. Since the Reader is the object and very essence of why we write...I would suggest making this a bit more "Reader Friendly" by separating the paragraphs for an easy read. From the maze however, comes a powerful story well told! I'm glad I ventured into this daunting task. Kudos, my friend, KUDOS!
02/22/06
Nice writing here; you really got under this soldier's skin. I don't think you need the "As Christians..." at the end, it's a bit anti-climactic. And watch the spelling of "indulgence." I always like it when I read a fresh take on a Biblical event, and you did a good job of it. Thanks.
02/26/06
Not quite believeable if the soldier had no prior knowledge of the man on the cross who proclaimed to be "the son of God". I agree it would be easier to read with paragraphs. Could be interesting with more fleshing out of the soldier.