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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Break (02/06/06)

TITLE: The Summer They'll Never Forget
By Tashina Warren
02/12/06


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It was the middle of February of Nevaeh Legna’s junior year of high school when she asked her companions and boyfriend, “How would you like it if we went to Kings Island over Summer Break?”
“I would totally love it,” Cecil replied.
“Can you guys stay after today so we can go over what we’re doing?”
“I can,” said Maxine. “Can you guys stay?” They all nodded their heads in agreement.
After school, they met in the cafeteria to discuss the plans for their trip. “When’s the best time that you gals can do our trip?” asked Nevaeh.
“The best time for me is sometime in July,” replied Lorraine, and everyone else agreed.
“Okay, let’s vote on what days we’re going,” said Nevaeh. “Write the days on here, and then put them in this box here.”
They all voted, and Nevaeh recorded their votes. And she said, “July 13 through 18 it is.”
It was getting closer and closer to their trip to Kings Island, and they were getting really excited. One day they all decided that they would meet at Lorraine’s house, but Nevaeh would drive.
The day came for them to go to Kings Island. They drove down all hyped up on caffeine. They were all jamming to Rob Thomas, Kelly Clarkson, and all the other groups that everybody listened to.
When Nevaeh, Cecil, Lorraine, and Susej, Nevaeh’s boyfriend, got to Kings Island, they unpacked and ate dinner. They entered the amusement park and started riding rides; but they noticed something. They noticed that some guys were following them. Everywhere they went those guys went.
This happened every day of their trip. Finally, Nevaeh, Cecil, Lorraine, and Susej told one of the security guards there. The security guard asked, “Can you id the men?”
“Yeah,” replied Susej.
They all pointed to the same men and the guard asked, “Are you sure?”
They all nodded their heads. The guard called other guards to help him catch the guys, but they never caught them. And ever since that day, they were always watching the backs.


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This article has been read 433 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 02/15/06
Please consider working on this some more. You've left your readers wondering who the mysterious guys were, and left out many details of the trip. Is there a lesson you wanted us to learn? You've imagined a tense situation; please develop it. Keep writing!
Marilyn Schnepp 02/18/06
To make this piece a little more Reader Friendly, I suggest some paragraphing and spacing. Readers are what Writers want...so to ensnare them...make it easy. Thanks for sharing your story.