The Official Writing Challenge
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02/15/06
I like this! You described Amy's ambivalence perfectly. I'd love to have "eavesdropped" on this conversation--perhaps re-write this with dialog that reveals more of Amy's brokenness.
02/16/06
Please flesh this out some more. The last paragraph is rushed and the last analogy is not based on anything that the elderly lady said or did. No explanation is given to why Amy had this revelation. Give more details about your characters. Hope this helps.
02/18/06
For me, it was difficult navigating through the long lenghy paragraphs. If they were shortened it would be much more Reader Friendly. Thanks for sharing. God Bless.