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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Break (02/06/06)

TITLE: Restored
By Cassandra D'Addio
02/12/06


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“I need a break!” Amy thought irritably as she shifted to a more comfortable position. Her illness was a real pain, in more ways than one. It interfered with her social life, ruining what should have been a terrific “Spring Break”. She was dwelling in the ashes of her young life’s tragedies, and enjoying the moment of self pity. She could be on the beach with her friends, recovering from her broken heart. But no, she was instead trying to heal her frail body. Tired from an extended illness, she was just starting to get out of the house. Now she was on the park bench, aimlessly feeding the birds and reflecting on her ruined plans. A sigh escaped her, as the wind subtly blew her hair across her forehead. She made a lovely picture to the old woman observing her. She decided to come and speak to the young lady that appeared somehow delicate, with a expression in her eyes that marred her beauty.

Amy watched the slow, painful approach of the old woman, and was somehow irritated. She saw the unsteady gait of the aged, and being rather frightened of someday facing that herself, she was ready to turn away. Spending her day with some old lady was not what she wanted. But the lady caught her eye, and before Amy could escape the bench, she was convicted by her spiteful thoughts. She smiled tentatively at the old woman, and noticed that there was something about her face that seemed different. As if there was a shadow of a past pain. She thought of a lovely vessel that, once broken, had been mended, and was now stronger. Still a thing of beauty, but perhaps even more so, for the mend had been complete, and the hurt had been replaced with health. Somehow the lady was there already; on her bench, chatting away as if they were the best of friends. Amy was not interested in talking, especially not to her, and yet she couldn’t not talk. Her troubles poured out- tales of her young life, her parent’s broken marriage, her broken dreams, her once-again broken heart. Her façade of being together crumpled under the loving gaze of the experienced woman. For the first time in her life, she felt the stirrings of acceptance, assurance, and completeness that she had so long desired. She drank at the well of living water and ate of the broken body, and was healed, her past life of brokeness and shattered dreams knitting together to form the beginning of a beautiful pattern that until that day was seen only by the One who designed the pattern.


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This article has been read 519 times
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Jan Ackerson 02/15/06
I like this! You described Amy's ambivalence perfectly. I'd love to have "eavesdropped" on this conversation--perhaps re-write this with dialog that reveals more of Amy's brokenness.
c clemons02/16/06
Please flesh this out some more. The last paragraph is rushed and the last analogy is not based on anything that the elderly lady said or did. No explanation is given to why Amy had this revelation. Give more details about your characters. Hope this helps.
Marilyn Schnepp 02/18/06
For me, it was difficult navigating through the long lenghy paragraphs. If they were shortened it would be much more Reader Friendly. Thanks for sharing. God Bless.