The Official Writing Challenge
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02/16/06
Another good reminder of the necessity of finding our rest in Him.
Good piece, thanks.
02/17/06
Short and to th2e point - a good reminder. This would make a good devotional.
02/21/06
Patricia--This is a good devotional. Your last sentence is perhaps weak for a concluding sentence, where you want to "wow" your readers. "A pleasant experience" is perhaps vague--help your readers to experience it with you, rather than just telling us about it. And you might build up to your need for a break by helping your readers to experience your earlier frustration--not by telling us about it, but by showing us. Your writing skills are absolutely fine--now work on finding a "voice"--a way to make your work stand out from the rest.
02/21/06
One more suggestion: begin with a "hook." The idea is to draw in your reader with the hope of reading something intriguing. "I had a need" may not have the punch to do the job.

I love the idea of God's word resounding in your spiritual ears. Very lovely.
I agree with what Jan said. What you have here is a good start. I'd love to see you expand it. Take us through your frustrations--showing us the tension mounting.

The scripture you said resounded in your spiritual ears was perfect. Your message is great. God is our break!

Regarding being called and gifted to write--if you have the desire, I say you are. You just need to practice your craft, you will continually improve as you keep writing and getting feedback. This is a great place to do that. Welcome to FW! :)
Jan and Debbie are exactly right. I just want to add a possible ending line for you to consider. "There I found joy and peace." Or "Not only did I find joy and peace there, but I also found the energy and courage I needed to face (insert a challenge here)."

I do think that if you are going to start the article with "I have a need." The very next sentence better tell your reader what that need is. For example: "I have a need. I have to have this report done for work by 2pm. It is already 1pm and I still have to... as well." This sets the reader up to really connect with your stress and your frustrations.

I hope this helped.
I agree with your comments. This is a learning experience. I have plans to expand this piece into an article. My greatest need, is mentoring.

02/21/06
Hi, Patricia! You've made a very good point here - which is an excellent start. Now it's all about honing (which really means practice, practic, practice). Keep asking questions - especially if you don't understand the advice you're given.