The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/06/06
The reader can't just read this story...you've made us feel it. Your intense description of the mother's emotions - from the depths of grief to reconciliation through allowing her child's death to give life to others - is something most of us can't even imagine enough to describe because we haven't been there. And, yes, sometimes we have to curse God before we can accept His will.
Very powerful story, and I was very glad to see that you did not hold back from the raw anger that is so often part of the grieving process. A little polishing of the last couple of paragraphs would help to ease the roar of emotion more smoothly. Very well done. God bless.
02/08/06
You took me to a place I did not want to go and made me feel things I did not want to feel...but I could not stop reading. Excellent writing.
I loved the line about God loosing His son for a while too!

The story over all was interesting, but needs a little editing. Like the second sentence is a run on sentence that could be broken up for ease of reading and clarity.

I also liked the expression of her anger, especially when she wondered why it had to be her son to save others rather than the other way around.
02/10/06
Oh..wow...I sat here holding my one year old son as I read your piece..the tears just started coming because of the mother's anguish in this story...wow...What a wonderful story...I would be very surprised if this wasn't in the top three!
Very good word pictures.
Thank you for sharing this powerfully sad story.