The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 892 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
02/08/06
This is well done! The meter and rhyme are good and the message is so well woven into the piece.
02/09/06
Nearly perfect! Almost ballad-like. The only suggestion I have is to re-word this line:

"Be my guest," I did reply,

to avoid the "did (verb)" construction, which reads awkwardly. Consider:

"Be my guest," was my reply.

Nice lesson, very poignant.
Excellent.
This was really good. I liked the story and the the rhyme and meter were well done. I liked that it didn't have a cliche ending too.
02/11/06
"On a warm summer's eve on a train bound for nowhere I met up with a gambler, we were both too tired to sleep...." This piece reminded me of Kenny Rogers Gambler song. That's a good thing. Thought provoking and good ending. COngrats!