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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Control (01/30/06)

TITLE: The Poo Factor..
By Jesus Puppy


The Poo Factor..

For the past half hour I have laughed myself sore, I have lost all control of my mental factors. I have come understand the truth of my greatest misfortune. I truly believe, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Puppies are not real.

Oh, they may seem real enough, and yes, they do exist, but they are not the playful little things they want you to believe. They are in control of things from the start, and they have you just where they want you. They start to take over from the first moment, they are sneaky and conniving little monsters, so beware.

First, they put on this innocent act, playing up to the kindness in your heart for soft fuzzy creatures. You open your heart willingly, and then your home, and that's when they have you. That's when their real side shows through. Their true purpose in life.

They are not real animals, you know, they are really super sophisticated machines, and like all machines, they produce a product. And lots of it.. everywhere and anywhere they choose. Oh, at first they fool you into thinking they don't really know what they are doing. It is all part of the plan, the innocent act they put on to take control of your life. But the signs... the signs are every where.

They sometimes fool you into looking away, just for a moment, and when you turn your back, they return to their main function. Living, breathing, product makers, and yes, we all know what that product is. It will be found on the floor, under tables and chairs, and, Lord forbid it, sometimes they do there little factory work in your chair or under your bed. Also be aware that these machines have faulty lines, and often spring leaks.

I speak this warning with all the proof I need, these small unassuming little furry things are not, I repeat not to be trusted. Do not turn your back for even a second. It is then that their true mission comes in play, and they take control of your every moment. Forcing you to be their slave, they will even force you into a willing accommodation to their work, making you believe you are only feeding a defenseless little creature. Yet all along you are only providing materials for their production lines.

Beware I say, beware. I say this only as a warning to all that are kind at heart, beware of these little monsters. Puppies are not real animal. In all actuality they are living, breathing, breeding, furry, little, Poo Factories.

NOTE:: This article is in no way to indicate the mental state of this writer. I am in total control of my mental state....

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This article has been read 1058 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jesus Puppy 02/06/06
Yes, it was suppose to be funny..
c clemons02/07/06
This was cute but not sure if the repeating of certain phrases was intentional or not. The repetiveness was a bit much.
Lynda Schultz 02/08/06
I'm glad I have cats. But yes, you could have said what you did with fewer words - but perhaps we want us to know just how desperate the situation really is - Yes? I think you meant "mental faculties" in the beginning paragraph. Good title too.
Jan Ackerson 02/09/06
I think this is hilarious.
Cheryl Harrison02/09/06
Cute! This is the reason I have cats! Your story reminded me of a sign I saw one time. It read, "Dogs have masters, Cats have staff." Gotta love the furry creatures, "product" and all.
Marilyn Schnepp 02/12/06
According to this funny, funny story..."Dogs have "SERVANTS", and cats have staff"..to enlighten the previous Commenter...(smile) Great story, fun read and it's so true! I love em!...poo and all!
Linda Watson Owen02/19/06
Poo-fectly hilarious for sure, Pup! How cute!!