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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Space (01/23/06)

TITLE: The Mountain Cry
By Sandra Snowden



Sitting on a rock perched in the side of a mountain, high above human interaction, Gabriel remained deadly still. No sign of life exuded from his motionless body that was hunched over with his head resting between his knees. Two huge eagles flew overhead completely synchronized flapping their gigantic wings at the same time and tilting their heads to the left as if to indicate their flight plan. Gabriel noticed the eagles, in amazement, while looking at the frozen plateau below that served as a mirror. “Wow, what freedom,” Gabriel thought to himself.

While giving in to a thought, Gabriel decided to entertain more thoughts about the circumstances that landed him on a mountain peak alone. Things had been very difficult over the last few years. Everything that Gabriel attempted to engaged in just seemingly flopped. He had been exercising his faith in a greater way because he wanted to please God. The last exercise, of his faith, took him over the top and challenged his foundation such that he seriously wondered about the reality of God for him.

“I believe that God can do anything, at anytime and anywhere but why doesn’t he help me? All I desire to do is please God and the scriptures say, {without faith it is impossible to please Him}. I know that the desires I have within for starting a business came from God but nothing seems to come together. I’ve tried to found support, but again nothing comes together. I feel confused, frustrated and hopeless. But I still believe that God is awesome and can do anything,” Gabriel heard himself say aloud as if trying his case in a court of law.

Tears now trickling down his face, but almost instantly turning to ice sickles, made Gabriel flinch. Again, hopelessness triumphed over his limited ability to stop his tears from turning to ice.

“How did I get here? What went wrong? Question after question bombarded Gabriel’s mind.

Yelling to the top of his voice, Gabriel screamed, “God I know you know I’m up here. There is nothing between you and me now but your vastness. No cars. No computers. No church. No crowds, No trains. No nothing, just you and me! What do you want from me? Perhaps I’ll just throw myself off this mountain then we can talk face to face.“

The air surrounding Gabriel became even more silent. The eagles were no longer in view as they journeyed to their destination. The blueness of the sky radiated the wonders of God. The mountain peaks capped with snow were perfect like a picture post card from Colorado. The crispness of the air was exhilarating. But in all that Gabriel was still attempting to harness some joy.

Frantically groping for some semblance of peace, Gabriel confesses, “You are all I have. Only you can save me from my hopelessness and me. I want to glorify you in all that I do. Your word reminds me, “that he who the Son sets free is free indeed. I believe that but I feel like a prisoner. I so desire to do your will but I’ve come to realize that it’s not your will that’s a challenge, IT’S YOUR WAYS!!! I came up here thinking that I would be closer to you and that you would hear my distress, but….”

Gabriel slowly and gingerly rose to his feet and secured himself against the mountain. The ledge was so narrow and one slip would certainly be his demise. Adjusting his cap and gloves, Gabriel turned insignificantly to his left and, heard a voice from a distance call out to him, “Gabriel, Gabriel, it’s time to get up you’re going to be late for work.”

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Member Comments
Member Date
Cheryl Harrison02/01/06
Okay...you got me with the surprise ending. Early on I began wondering how the story would be resolved. Then the description of him standing up and the fear he might actually fall... but...you got me! Loved it.
Jeffrey Snell02/03/06
Cool concept. Careful of punctuation placement. The ending totally caught me off guard, and resolved the piece nicely. Good job!