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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Space (01/23/06)

TITLE: The Capitivity
By Kate Wells


Darkness was all he had ever known in his captivity. Had he some basis of comparison...he would have understood that his quarters were not of a four star rating. He had dwelt in that small, damp space, however, for his entire life. So he did not know...that there was anything else.

He often became agitated with his condition, which led to a desire for change. Change is good. But not always easy. He tried to ponder his situation, but found it too difficult to do so.

He pressed on the wall in front of him...daily. It often appeared to move. But perhaps that was only an illusion. For it was still in place. And he was still in darkness. So he waited. For what...he did not know.

It was such an effort...to bring about this desired change. Perhaps he would stay a while longer. What was the point, anyway, in leaving... if he did not know where he was going?

It was truly not so bad. The darkness was rather soothing, actually. As long as the turmoil didn't come. He didn't like the turmoil. It was so disturbing to be suddenly tossed about by a force he could not comprehend. The turmoil always came unexpectedly. Disregarding gravity, it would often send him tumbling backwards and upside down. He would then have to spend much effort righting himself. And that was tiring.

Something was going to have to change soon, though. He knew that. The space was growing smaller. He had no doubt. Even the turmoil could not toss him like it used to. He was certain that his strength was gaining, for he could now move the walls...when he tried. And he tried often. If only he had known what was beyond them. His efforts might have increased. And then came the sounds.

Sounds like whales make to one another deep within the ocean. Mournful sounds... slow and droaning. And sometimes sudden. But the one sound...he loved. It gave him peace. It made him know that he had purpose. And that he could be free. It wasn't droaning like the other sounds. It was cooing and gentle, lulling him to rest and wait... for what?

He had been waiting for so long...when it happened. The turmoil came. Only this time, it was worse than it had ever been before. He tried, but he could not right himself. And the space grew smaller with each crushing wave of it. Until it was so small he did not think he could survive. He could not even push the walls now. What was going to happen to him?

The sounds grew so loud he almost could not bear it. And something overwhelming rushed in upon his soothing darkness and robbed him of his isolation.

And then...it happened. His arms pressed out against...nothing! It was gone! The wall was gone!
But the thing that took his darkness away was harsh. And he realized that the new sound was coming from him!
It was so loud...so terrifying and then...walls came back...new, different than before. Warm. Soft. Eveloping him.

And there it was...the gentle sound that always gave him peace. He heard it so distinctly now.

His mother. He lay in her arms, wrapped in a soft blue blanket. And as his eyes met hers, he felt the peaceful joy of a baby, loved.

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This article has been read 901 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Marilyn Schnepp 01/30/06
Suspenseful? Yes! Creative? Yes! But the sounds, the turmoil, the horrific confinement... I can't comprehend Birth being that torturous and tumultuous!
dub W02/01/06
Haunting till the end, the VIOLA, a wonderful ending and story.
dub W02/01/06
Haunting till the end, the VIOLA, a wonderful ending and story.
Dara Sorensen02/01/06
Amazing! It's a very creative and original! It's for a reason none of us remembers such an experience!
Corinne Smelker 02/02/06
I figured out in the 1st paragraph what the ending would be but still read on to the end because you wrote it so well.

As a person who has given birth to 7 kids, I can only imagine and wonder if that is what they think as the time draws near!
Lynda Lee Schab 02/02/06
Very creative for the topic of "space." I imagine it is tumultuous for a baby to be born. Fortunately for us, we don't remember it! Wonderfully and cleverly constructed. Loved it!
Blessings, Lynda
Shari Armstrong 02/02/06
Very well done. I picked up where it was going pretty quickly, but that didn't lessen it at all! :)
david grant02/02/06
I didn't figure it out until the end. You got me! Very good!
Jan Ackerson 02/02/06
The teeniest nitpick I have is that since it's written from the baby's POV, he wouldn't have a frame of reference for "whales."

This is wonderfully creative and skillfully written. Bravo!
Alexandra Wilkin02/04/06
Lovely! God bless,
Linda Watson Owen02/05/06
Oh, yes! I liked this one too! Great job!
Virginia Gorg02/06/06
Very nicely done! Good read.