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James walked to the window and stared out into the world that would, for now, be his home. A life of wantonness and self-indulgence had led him there - back to the start.
As a young child, James’ heart was crushed when both his father and mother simply abandoned him for a constant drunken stupor. Forced to live with his aunt and uncle, his self-worth was torn into shreds by the ever-present reminder that he was their burden. Finally, at the age of fourteen, the withdrawn and depressed teenager ventured out on his own, in hopes of creating a life for himself.
Nothing is ever as it seems at fourteen, and James soon learned that the world was just as eager to pass him off as his own family was. Further into depression he went, and he sought out some form of escape. Flasks of rye and a blade to his wrist were constant companions in his race against pain.
By the age of seventeen, he had resorted to petty theft in order to fill his need for alcohol. Run-ins with the law were a common-day occurrence and James found himself further and further into his cutting habit. He sank into despondency.
However, soon everything he had ever known was going to come crashing down around him - and it would prove to be the best thing that ever happened to him.
After a night of drinking, James found himself again swept into the bounds that only a life of pain can create. In a desperate attempt to escape the reminders of the past, he slid the knife across his wrist. A familiar red appeared, but this time in a large amount - larger than he’d ever experienced before. As his life oozed from his wrists, he screamed his plea - an appeal to a God he had never known, never loved, never obeyed. In the depths of darkness, his soul was saved.
A passerby found him shortly thereafter, drowning in his own blood. The ambulance came, and in the depths of hopelessness, his life was saved.
Escape had become his life, James knew that, as he stared out the window he realized it no longer frightened him to think of being alone. The God who had never seemed to care had now become the God who granted him a new start in life.
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