The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/09/06
The thoughts are there, but the rhyming is a bit jerky...; I also find it rather sad...but thanks for sharing.
01/11/06
A powerful poem, and I agree with Marilyn--work on the rhythm a bit, and it will be an even more effective piece. I love that the last 3 stanzas give us hope.