Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Four Ways For A Christian Writer To Win A Publishing Package HERE



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Escape (01/02/06)

TITLE: Diary of a Girl Unseen
By Kim Stairs
01/04/06


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

"Diary of a girl unseen."


April 10,2000-

Friends, are they really? Colors and gangs. Today I had to attack an old friend outside of the store.
I felt so cold inside. How could I do that? Am I that mean of a person? I held back the pain and the look
in her eyes as I ran to the leader. Iwas hugged and accepted into my mew family. We partied.
I was lost in the bottles and the high. Free. Flying higher away from this chaotic world. Friends couldn't
wake me. I could barely hear my name. Shaken. Wakened. Oh God how could I be back here. Sirens. People
running. Left alone to bear the pain, again.


April 13, 2000-
I can't take any more of this. Fighting. The beatings. This is supposed to be my home. When will it
stop! No food. No money. Mom's strung out on her bed. A strange man is walking around my house half dressed.
I think he's high. He offers me some. It's new to me. I've heard about the great high. But somewhere deep
inside I feel a strong desire to say no. But the pain takes over as this strangers hand touches my skin. I
taste. I sniff. I float away.

June 3, 2000-
Darkness. Pain. I'm locked in this life and I can't see a better way. Mom kicked me out after she
woke up, and saw her new friend lying next to me. I tried to explain. I don't know what happened. I felt so
betrayed. What did he do to me? No job, no home, no money. My girlfriends told me I could make fast money
selling tricks. I had no idea it would come to this. Why was I born? Men use me. I feel so dirty. Trapped.
Will I see 18? Where can I go? Who can I trust? Are you there? Will you answer? Tears. Can't hold them
back. No one at the shelter to see. Flowing faster and harder, I let go.

June 4, 2000-
People passed me on the street. Do they even see I exsist? Will they help me? Would they understand?
Then a woman walked by. Did she smile at me? When she looked at me I felt a strange emotion inside. What was
it? She reached out to touch me. I pulled back. She gave me a card. A simple note that I was loved. Could
it be an answer? An address and a number. Back to the shelter. I lay on my bunk staring at the ceiling.
Today seemed so different. What could be happening? Should I check into this place? What will by girls say?

June 7, 2000-
Open doors. Smiles. Greeting. Why did I come here? This was crazy. Oh no here she comes. THe woam
from the street. She saw me and it was too late to run out. Where was I going to go anyway? To the shelter,
to the dealer, to my pimp? No this was better. Deffinitely better. She said she was happy to see me again. No
one's ever happy when I walk into the room. She led me to a medium sized toom. She say beside me quietly.
Someone was going to the microphone. My heart pounded as he shared a story about his life. Blood. Pain. Prison.
Death. Jesus.

June 14, 2000-
I'm back. I listened again to another story. Could it be real? They got out of here. But how could I
escape? A short prayer. No one heard. God help me if you're real? I know I can do better than this.
(last entry)

Sept.5, 2005-
A box arrived at my door today. A card saying happy 20th birthday. Love, Mom. Shocked I looked inside.
Some small items, and I saw a small book marked with my tears. My diary. I cried as I read. It seems so long ago.
I looked across the room at my daughter in her father's arms. I was out. God rescued me. Mournign turned to
happiness. Darkness turned to light. The chains holding me so tight were broken. I was free from it all. He
helped me escape.
(final entry- Diary of a girl always seen)


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 586 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Kevin Kindrick01/09/06
Oh my. I can't believe no one has commented on this.
Undoubtedly, there will be comments talking about grammar, spelling, and such like technicalities. Those are Nothing. They matter Not At All.
All that matters is the message you have portrayed. The hope you have shown. Truly you have heard from God, and I thank you for sharing your deep heart.
I feel prompted to ask you, is this your story? It is so deep, so real. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I have a story that may tie in with this, that happened in the life of a close friend, this touches me deeply. Thank you.

God bless,

Kevin
Michelle Burkhardt01/09/06
Besides some grammer mistakes, your words are powerful. I even liked how her Mom even seemed to escape. Nice Job.
Alexandra Wilkin01/11/06
The grammatical mistakes did not detract in the slightest from the powerful emotions, and both the 'diary' style and the pared down language helped give the meaning the extra emotional power. God bless.
erin hahn01/11/06
Most poignant part- "diary of a girl always seen". absolutely fantastic- grammer isn't important when your words mean so much. God really works through this writing.
Tammy McConnell01/12/06
I rarely finish a story with grammar and spelling errors, but yours kept me sitting on the edge of my chair all the way through! I hoped she would get out...I'm glad she did. Your message was loud and clear. Great job!
Kim Stairs01/12/06
Sorry everyone for the mistakes!! I wrote this in notepad instead of word, at night. I missed them when I checked it. Also my outline did not copy the same. Thank you for overlooking them and responding so strongly. I wrote this story because this is the ministry my family is going into. So many girls/guys have this story in the innercities of America. God bless all of you!
Sandra Petersen 01/13/06
Wow! This is the reason for the Union Gospel Missions, the Street Level Ministries, and the Pacific Garden Missions of the world! Good job showing the need out there!
I, for one, don't think you necessarily have to correct all the typos, just a few.For instance, the line "Iwas hugged and accepted into my mew family."
This is, after all, a "diary", and should be written as the diarist would write.
A story that should move Christians to action, if only to donate more freely of time and money to ministries that help the homeless and hurting! Thank you so much for sharing this with us!
Sandra Petersen 01/13/06
Wow! This is the reason for the Union Gospel Missions, Street Level Ministries, and Pacific Garden Missions of the world!
This "diary" is very effective written as is. I would change a few of the typos, but not all. This is, after all, a "diary", and because it is meant for only the writer's eyes, would not be written formally.
The message is one that should move Christians to action unless they have no eyes or ears to see or listen!
An excellent entry from title to hope at the end!
Thank you so much for sharing!