The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/26/15
This was beautifully written and expressed.

God bless~
11/28/15
I liked the MC and her view of life. It was interesting reading the facts about coconuts and how you tied it to the story of Adam and Eve.
I never realized the coconut tree had so many different uses. God provides for us in wonderful ways. You really show this throughout your story, both in the beginning and the end.

The story felt a bit stilted at times. Try reading it aloud to see how it sounds, then go back and tweak the spots that make you stumble. For example, this is one way I may have edited the beginning: After years of struggling, Anjali moved to the city, far from her seashore home, to try to find work. The city life irritated her; people hustled by, never taking time to stop and chat or exchange stories. Sighing, she thought about her grandfather's farm.
I tried to use your words, but rearranged them a bit so they flowed a bit easier.

I think the story has a great foundation and a lovely message. My favorite part was hearing about the trees and how each one represented a family member. You did a nice job of pulling the topic in both as grating on one's nerves and grating the coconut. Nicely done.