The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/13/05
Some good meditations but each paragraph could be tightened up. Each paragraph should have a topic sentence with all the sentences in that paragraph supporting the topic. Likewise, all paragraphs should support a main topic as established in your first paragraph.
There are so many good thoughts here that could be developed even more. Keep writing. You have the depth of thought required of a writer.
12/13/05
I agree. The lack of paragraphing bogs down the Reader - and a Writer's goal in life is to write for Readers to read and enjoy. There are many beautiful thoughts here, and with shorter, tighter paragraphing it would grab the Reader and hold them; but with time and effort these things will come - Keep Up The Good Work...and God BLess.