The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 720 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
I enjoyed this very much.
12/13/05
Wonderful story!
12/14/05
Very sweet!

Consider breaking down the long paragraph in the middle into 2 or 3 shorter ones. And I'm not sure if you need the last paragraph; I think the "lump-in-the-throat" factor was in the next to last one.

Good job in describing this precious manger scene; I could easily visualize it. Thanks!
12/17/05
I read this out loud to my oldest daughter, and both us agreed that your story rang of authenticity. Mikey would sound exactly like that if he was a younger child. Don't remember if you said how old he was.
I think I agree that the long paragraph describing the nativity scene would be good in a few paragraphs rather than one.
I love the interspersing of youthful wisdom through your article.
I rather liked the last paragraph which showed how a young child's gift started a tradition. But the second to last paragraph would have to be reworked so that it did not sound like the ending. Good job!