The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 279 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
07/09/15
I loved the images you created in this story and the way you let us get to know the main characters. Great job!
This is a lovely story. I could really feel the mother's love for her daughter as I read the story. You did a great job of developing the characters and painting a picture for the reader.

Remember that a semicolon is used to separate two independent clauses. Also, if using a conjunction, you only use a comma if the two clauses without the conjunction could stand on their own. For example this line would be punctuated like this: It was late October--prime deer hunting season, and my daughter was obsessed.
A comma would have worked too, but I thought the em dash would be a great fit.

You have a subtle sense of humor that I totally enjoyed. I loved your ending. Many struggle with coming up with a satisfying ending given the limited word count, but you make it look easy. You nailed the topic, and your story was fresh, interesting, and had a strong message.