The world was beginning to awaken once again after a long hibernation through the winter season. Snow was melting steadily, the sun shining a little warmer, and the days were once again beginning to grow longer. Spring had arrived, and with it the long awaited promise of rebirth and new life.
Andrea and Peter Jacobson walked hand in hand with hearts filled with anxiousness, trying desperately to give it to God and leave it with Him. So many times over the last few days they had played tug of war, first giving and then taking back. Each tried hard to let go and allow God to work His mighty hands in their situation; yet it was so difficult waiting for the doctor to call with Andrea’s results.
Peter squeezed his wife’s hand and smiled down at her, and she returned the gestures to him. It had been twelve years since they had walked down the aisle and stood side by side at the altar to become man and wife. For eleven of those years they had been trying to start a family; both wanting children almost immediately after getting married.
All around signs of spring greeted them. Robins had made their way back and were busy preparing nests in anticipation of starting families. Grass was beginning to turn from shades of brown to green, and crocuses had sprouted even before the snow had begun to melt. Various small green stalks poked through the earth and promised to give birth to tulips and daffodils.
They remained in silence for most of their walk, instinctively knowing the thoughts of the other. As they neared their home, Peter broke the silence. “It’s going to be alright Honey. No matter what the results are, everything will be alright.”
“I don’t know if I can take this anymore; this whole hoping only to be let down in the end.” Andrea admitted.
“I know, and I feel your pain.” Peter’s heart ached. This was so hard on her; but it was on him as well.
“No you don’t! How could you? It’s not you who can’t get pregnant and carry a child! You aren’t the one the doctors and everyone look at with pity! You aren’t the one…” Peter stopped and gently grabbed his wife by the shoulders, interrupting her. Her sudden outburst had shocked them both and he realized just how much pain she had been holding onto for so long.
“I’m sorry Baby. No, I don’t know what this is like for you. But I do know that I ache for a child just as much as you. I do know that I feel I am the one at fault for you not getting pregnant.” A tear trickled down Peter’s cheek. The doctors could not find any reason why Peter and Andrea couldn’t get pregnant, and both had blamed themselves.
They stood again in silence, trying to comfort each other. Andrea broke away and wiped the tears that cascaded down her face. “I’m sorry Peter. I shouldn’t have taken this out on you. I know you hurt over this as much as I do. I’m scared and I really want the invitro to have taken, but what if it didn’t?”
“I’m scared about that too. I think we need to pray Andy, we need to give it to God again.” Taking her by the hand, he led her home.
As they knelt side by side in front of the couch, Peter and Andrea brought their fears and concerns before the Lord.
“Gracious heavenly Father, You know how I desire to be a father myself, and how long we have wanted a baby. You know how heartsick we feel each time we are told no. We’re afraid at the possibility of not being pregnant yet again, but we give this to you Father. You are in control.”
“Lord, You are the one who can breathe life into my womb.” Andrea began. “I am sorry for my lack of faith and not trusting You. Please forgive me. I’m scared and I don’t know if I can take this much longer. You opened Hannah’s womb, I pray you will open mine. Give me the strength to get through this; no matter what happens.”
Peter and Andrea knew the Lord would be with them and help them throughout this difficulty, regardless of the outcome. Spring is a time for new birth, and Peter and Andrea prayed that it would be for them as well.
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