The Official Writing Challenge
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02/05/15
Oh this yanked my heartstrings. You've nailed the topic in a unique way with much thought to the subject at hand delivering a powerful message in the interim. Well done.

God Bless~
02/05/15
oh my Wow! That was so good :-) you got me with that ending. you nailed the topic and sucked me in with a good story
This was really good and extremely powerful. The only bit of red ink I have is very petty: I would have said express train rather than freight train, as the idea was to get across the speed at which your MC's heart was racing. That said, this was a really good piece and I hope it does well.
02/07/15
Truth is...I don't like your main character much...slothful thing! He evokes strong feelings...which is the point of good writing. Good job!
02/07/15
A powerful story - you absolutely nailed the topic. I am all to personally familiar with saying, "I really need to .... I'll get around to....", so your MC struck a chord with me. Your writing is very descriptive! Have you seen the thread Jan's Writing Basics in the Faithwriters forums? Her current lesson on about descriptive writing. You should check it out. I can't wait to see you climb up the levels!!
02/07/15
Oh, this is good. And I think we are all like this sometimes. One would think an acorn on the head would be enough motivation to fix a hole in the roof, however.
I think you did a great job of "showing" sloth. My favorite line was "I'm writing in my head." I've done that, but unfortunately, I too often forget what I wrote there! One little bit of red ink: Your story is written in present tense, but some past tense verbs slipped in there.
02/09/15
Strong profiling of laziness comes through all the way, aggravated by your MC's apathy.
Well done.
In the third paragraph you might have put quotations marks around: "They tire me just watching them." It just seems to fit.

The question is: "Can a sloth change his colors?" This one didn't but didn't seem to notice or care.

Good writing.
02/12/15
Congratulations on your win. Great work, and now it's off to Advanced for you. Well done.
Congratulations on ranking 1st in level 2 and 17 overall. The highest rankings can be found on the message boards.
03/23/15
Poor Grandma. Good job, and congratulations!