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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Spring (as in the season) (11/28/05)

TITLE: "Every Girl's Crazy 'Bout a Sharp Dressed Hare"
By Kenny Blade
11/29/05


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It occurred to me the other day why I like Winter more than I do Spring. Its really very simple:

Men are from Winter, Women are from Spring

Ok, so its cheesy as a Stuffed crust pizza. Its as true a statement as has ever been uttered. If you doubt me, just examine the facts before us.

Winter means shoveling snow with oversized, steel handled shovels.
Spring means squatting in a corner garden area with a tiny, plastic handled shovel that fits in the palm of your hand.

Winter means bundling up in heavy wool overcoats and braving the elements.
Spring means wearing floral cotton tops and shorts and frolicking about in the gardenias.

Winter means holidays like Halloween and stories of Ichabod Crane and the Headless Horseman (Halloween is a worthless holiday, Iíll give you that. You have to admit though, riding a horse while headless carries a high degree of difficulty.)
Spring means holidays like Easter. The celebration of the resurrection of our Lord and Savior. Unfortunately, the heathen counterpart to the creator of Halloween also made it a holiday in which a fluffy-tailed bunny rabbit dressed in baby blue overalls hides pastel colored boiled eggs in the tall grass for small children to locate. (Most of them anyway. Usually the push mower finds the rest of them about three days after they have officially become oval stink bombs.)

Winter means romantic nights by a roaring fire with the one you love. (Hey, we men have our impractical side too. Life canít always be about hunting the remote, hoping the Jets find a quarterback and avoiding household repair jobs)
Spring means packing a picnic basket and sitting under a willow tree by a cool stream in the warm mid-day breeze holding hands and losing yourselves in each others eyes. (Which is, by no coincidence I am certain, about as far away from the fridge and the T.V. as you can get. Contrary to popular belief, the Ingalls lived in the woods because they HAD to!)

I guess maybe Iím being a little too sensitive. I mean, there are a few good things about Spring I guess. For one thing, thereís fishing. I love the sport of fishing. What better way to say to someone you love: ďIíll get out of your way while you do your spring cleaning. Please try to have supper on the table when I arrive back home approximately 20 minutes after sundown, so as to avert any actual yard work that might be deemed necessary.Ē

Oh, and the other thing I love about Spring isÖ Sorry. My mistake. There wasnít anything else. Just fishing. I think Iíll head down to the basement and sort through my tackle box. It may be cold out there now, but its only four months til Spring. See ya on the creek bank.


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This article has been read 896 times
Member Comments
Member Date
terri tiffany12/05/05
Really cute and great humor!! I never looked at the differences this way:) Gotta agree with you! Nice writing. It flowed just perfectly.
Marilyn Schnepp 12/06/05
At first I thought it was the female gender writing; then mid-way through I knew it was male; however, I liked the humor aspect, the typical male "drop-out" when it comes to Spring Cleaning, chores, etc. And it was a very entertaining read, which is what a reader is looking for (and a writer strives for) but where does the "hare" come in? Well written!
Naomi Deutekom12/06/05
I enjoyed you humour!
Sandra Petersen 12/07/05
I love your sense of humor, but fishing is not exclusive to the male half. I love fishing but can't convince my husband that we should get a couple of licenses let alone the fishing gear to do so.
Your title must refer to the Easter bunny; I was a little confused about that at first. I have to admit, though, that the title catches the reader's attention. Great job at a new take on 'Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.' (Is that the title?) Keep writing!
Kevin Kindrick12/07/05
Very enjoyable. I love a good humor piece, and I enjoyed your style. You remind me of one of my favorite authors, Patrick McManus. Thanks for sharing, and God bless.

Kevin
Brandi Roberts12/07/05
Yeppers. I love fishing too...but I'm a chick. So that makes it weird... LOL I grew up fishing.

ANYHOO...this was so much fun to read! Looking forward to more of this!
Anita Neuman12/07/05
Okay, I'm obviously out-numbered here, but in the interest of honest critique, I'll lay it all out there. Although there's some good humour in there, overall I don't find machismo to be very funny. Also, Halloween and winter aren't associated with each other. I do have to give you points for grabbing me with your title, though. I love a great title, and this is indeed a GREAT one!
Jan Ackerson 12/07/05
I love pieces like this--written with an authentic voice, and funny to boot. Well done.
Carol Adams12/08/05
I enjoyed your article. I liked the transitions from winter to spring and I'm with
you - I love spring!
Laurie Glass12/11/05
I love reading pieces like this and you have a great one here. Made me smile.
Debbie OConnor12/12/05
Great title and loads of fun!
Kris St. James12/12/05
Great job!!! Congratulations on your win! Very funny. You've definately got a lot of talent.
Sue Goodreau12/12/05
I really enjoyed this piece. It's well-written, creative, and funny! I now know who to read when I need my weekly laugh (since I searched out your other submissions and got a kick out of those, too.) Congrats on the win. I Look forward to the next piece!
Debbie Roppolo12/18/05
Congrats on a very well written piece. I enjoyed reading it.