Dear Doctor Charles E. Owen,
Please accept my formal resignation.
While I have enjoyed my numerous years spent in your employ, the time has arrived for me to retire. I would like to thank you for the privilege of being part of your staff. I will greatly miss you and my coworkers. The nurses and I frequently spent long, enjoyable hours together, sometimes late into the night. Nonetheless, my stage of usefulness to you appears to be something of the past.
Looking back, the downward trend of my occupation all started with the arrival of C. Omputer. I never dreamed of the changes he would bring. The hiring of Digit Al Storage didn’t disturb me either. Although I missed the travel, E. Mail brought little decrease in my workload. Likewise, I. Pad’s addition to the team lessened my duties insignificantly.
I was not concerned when you let Peg Board go. Elec Tronic brought considerable efficiency to the clinic with his new way of billing. Even the government mandated hiring of Ellie Marie Richards (With such a pretty name, why does she always go by E.M.R.?) hardly made me obsolete.
However, the arrival of this latest new hire is simply more than anyone should need to endure. Eve R. Note has taken the last shred of dignity from my long and distinguished career. My final, simple assignment of supplying you with the reminders you so very much depended on, has gone the way of all the rest of my responsibilities.
After much consideration, I have made the decision to depart before the humiliation of an official dismissal. If you should have need of me in the future, you are welcome to contact me at the address below.
Please do not be concerned with my upcoming years. Retirement has much appeal. I will be sharing a suite with Rolo Dex, Fax M. Achine, and Ty P.E. Writer. We have countless thrilling activities planned, not the least of which is the time we anticipate spending with the local elementary students, teaching them about the ‘olden days.’
I wish you much success in the future.
Pen N. Paper
C/o Antediluvian Administrative Supplies’ Assisted Living
101 Quill Drive
Parchment, MI 49004
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