The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
11/21/05
Interesting free verse, I wonder if you have read this outloud, or had someone read it to you outloud. The rhythm changed too often to make it comfortable.
11/22/05
Striking...I love your format and words and spirit intertwined with the piece...You are my kind of poet...Spirit and style make for a extraordinary piece here...Juanita Pittman-Brown
11/24/05
The thoughts here make me wonder if you are speaking of a writer's block or the slow steady crushing of the inner spirit after too many trials and disappointments.
I would use the refrain "in my life" more sparingly; the poem will still hang together (this was advice once given to me from my husband about one of my poems after I began to read it aloud to him!)
Was the absence of punctuation intentional? My own thought is that the use of periods and commas to complete a thought might actually encapsulate them so that they could be pondered one by one. Overall the thoughts were well-expressed.
11/26/05
I also feel that "in my life" was used a few times too many, becoming predictable and not as free flowing as it should be. I enjoyed the flow of the poem though. A little tweak, and this would be fine. God bless ya, littlelight