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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Winter (11/14/05)

TITLE: Winter's Chill
By c clemons
11/21/05


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I ask myself why
At this time I
Have a winter season
In my life
Seems to be that
Everything has come
To a complete halt
In my life
The winds are blowing
Still blowing now
As I write
In my life

I kind of expected
A season of lack
When I had done all
In my life
Not now when
I am in the prime
Time of things
In my life
I look about
Nothing is growing
Seems to be dead
In my life

Every leaf appears
To have fallen
Not even a bud
In my life
Bad news
Bad reports abound
Almost everyday
In my life
Yet as sad
As I feel
As barren as it looks
In my life

I speak to my soul
Be not disquieted
God is still the anchor
In my life
He loves me still
Even with winter’s
Trials and disappointments
In my life
I must remember
After every “winter season”
Will come the spring
In my life


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This article has been read 639 times
Member Comments
Member Date
dub W11/21/05
Interesting free verse, I wonder if you have read this outloud, or had someone read it to you outloud. The rhythm changed too often to make it comfortable.
Juanita Pittman-Brown11/22/05
Striking...I love your format and words and spirit intertwined with the piece...You are my kind of poet...Spirit and style make for a extraordinary piece here...Juanita Pittman-Brown
Sandra Petersen 11/24/05
The thoughts here make me wonder if you are speaking of a writer's block or the slow steady crushing of the inner spirit after too many trials and disappointments.
I would use the refrain "in my life" more sparingly; the poem will still hang together (this was advice once given to me from my husband about one of my poems after I began to read it aloud to him!)
Was the absence of punctuation intentional? My own thought is that the use of periods and commas to complete a thought might actually encapsulate them so that they could be pondered one by one. Overall the thoughts were well-expressed.
Nina Phillips11/26/05
I also feel that "in my life" was used a few times too many, becoming predictable and not as free flowing as it should be. I enjoyed the flow of the poem though. A little tweak, and this would be fine. God bless ya, littlelight