The Official Writing Challenge
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You kept the mystery alive until its critical point. I liked how you used natural, believable dialogue to convey the end times and the rapture. It's also a sort of mystery as to whether they died or were raptured. What a horrible way to die; I'm sure they were raptured.
I loved this. I thought it was a brilliant take on the topic and though t was about the horrors of the end times, it still stood out as an out of the box story. (forgive the pun)

The only red ink I might offer would be to have a bit of narration instead of just dialog. For example: "Where an I?" The panic began to churn his stomach and he retched as the bile reached his mouth.
That;s not perfect, but will give the reader a chance to have more of a mental picture.

I loved the twist about the one guy turning the other in. I didn't see it coming and you picked the perfect moment to reveal it. The ending was brilliant as well. I think this is one of my favorites.
03/08/14
Excellent job with this sobering and jarring story. Nicely done in delivery and content.


God Bless~
03/13/14
Congrats! God bless~
03/13/14
Congratulations Lonnie,

Very intriguing story.
03/13/14
Congratulations!
03/13/14
Congratulations to you!
Congratulations on ranking 1st in your level and 14 overall! The highest rankings can be found on the message boards.