The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
02/28/14
A realistic portrayl of life and its ups and downs. Very apropos for today with unemployment at an all time high. Well done, leaving the ending open made it that more believable.

But, if you don't mind, since I love happy endings, I will choose to believe she got the job after all because the person hired decided to go elsewhere! LOL...eternal optimist at work!


Good job.

God bless~
02/28/14
Just so you know...I was "kidding" about my ending....I was having fun.

Your story was excellent, ending and all.

GOd bless~
02/28/14
Haha! Thank you very much for reviewing my story! :D All my life I haven't even enjoyed writing that much, especially for essays and stuff ugh. ;) But when I do put my mind to it and do it, I'm even surprised sometimes! But I've always loved reading so... :)I guess I'm starting to imitate what I read lol! And yes I like happy endings too and of course she got the job later on lol!!!! ;) I was so upset that I had to keep the story within the 750 words limit because I added alot more detail that I had to take out, sadly. If you want to read the whole things, here's the link! :)

http://livingbyyeshuasgrace.blogspot.com/2014/02/just-in-nicker-of-time.html

God bless you and thank you again! :)
03/01/14
Very nice writing. Only red ink i would suggest is spacing between your paragraphs, for presentation. I like the accented dialogue very much. Keep writing!
03/01/14
This was an enjoyable read. I'm glad that everything wasn't tied up in pretty ribbons at the end.

One note, and it could just be me, but I wish you gave us more of the conversation Sarah had with the lady at the desk about the job. From your dialog, the woman knew exactly what job Sarah was talking about even though no specifics were given, and say later in the story that had she applied three days earlier she would've had it even though that wasn't mentioned either.

Just some constructive thoughts to consider. I hope you keep writing here.
03/01/14
Thank you both! I know, didn't realize that this website wouldn't space my dialogue, because I copied and pasted a perfectly aligned story and it messed everything up. :/ I wish so bad you could go back and edit things, that's been bugging me too!

I think you (the last commenter) meant Anna, and yes the lady knew because her father had already spoken to her about Anna, so it's kind of supposed to be understood that she knew what Anna was referring to. Thank you for critiquing! :D
03/01/14
Oh and one last thing to Toni. I did have more conversation between those two, but had to remove it and alot of other detail because of the word-count limit. I put the link to my original, completed version in an earlier comment. :)
03/05/14
I LOVED this story. Your dialogue was spot on, and the pace had me wanting more.

Great writing. I'd venture to say you are an up and comer here on this site.

Delightful.
03/05/14
Thank you very much! That is very kind!

BTW, if anyone has tried to private message me on here, I can't see them because I don't have membership. Please email me, thanks! :)
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