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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: The Short End of the Stick (02/20/14)

TITLE: Just in the Nicker of Time
By Hannah R
02/26/14


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“Mamm! I'm heading over to the Zook's place to chat with Sarah a bit. I'll be back soon.” hollered Anna Hostetler over her shoulder as she left the house. She hitched up Sassy and headed off.
She couldn't wait to share the news with her friend. For a long time she had wanted a job working with horses. But nobody needed her. Besides, they would say that at nineteen she should be getting married and starting a family by now!
She thought back to last week when she saw a sign about a job working at a stable in nearby Bird-in-Hand. She smiled at this answer to prayer and got the info. She told Dat about it and he called a few days later to find out more. When her told her what he learned and said she could apply, she was thrilled.
Coming out of her daydreams, she pulled in the Zook's driveway and walked inside calling out, “Is anyone home?”
Sarah greeted her, “Anna, how gut to see you! Come right in and have a piece of blueberry pie.”
Following, Anna said, “Denki, Sarah, I'd love some. I just had to talk to you. You'll never guess what.”
“You have a beau!” Sarah guessed.
Anna laughed. “I really doubt that's gonna be happenin' anytime soon, considering what I have in mind.”
Sarah smirked, then threw her hands up. “I have no idea, please tell me.”
“All right.” Anna leaned forward and said, “My dream to work with horses is about to come true. I found a job!”
“Really?! Who gave you a job?”
“Well, it's nobody in our community, much as I would have preferred that.” Sarah nodded agreement. Anna continued.
“I saw a sign for a place in Bird-in-Hand called Nicker of Time Stables. I can't wait to apply!”
“That is wunnerbaar, Anna! I hope you get it,” she exclaimed.
“Oh I'm confident I will!” said Anna assuredly, standing up. “Well, I need to run. Denki for the pie, Sarah.”

~~~

A few days later, Anna was on her way to Bird-in-Hand to apply. In about twenty minutes she arrived in the small town. She soon found it and walked in the office. The lady at the desk looked up and said, “May I help you?”
“Yes, I came to apply for the position I heard was available.”
The lady pulled out some papers while saying, “All-righty, let me check.” She examined them and frowned. “Oh, um...”
Anna asked, “Is something wrong?”
“The position you just mentioned that was available last week was taken by someone else. I'm sorry.”
“Oh, I see.”
The lady added, “But if you'll give me your contact info we will call when we have another spot available,” she smiled.
“Thank you, I appreciate it,” murmured Anna as she wrote down her info. She left the office and trudged over to Sassy, feeling depressed. She leaned against Sassy, ready to cry. Why God, why? She sighed as she guided the mare back onto the highway. I thought you had answered my prayers and everything seemed to fall into place so fast...what happened? She stopped by Sarah's to tell her about it. I could use some of her good sense right now.
~~~
Sarah asked, “Why Anna, what is the matter? You don't look so gut.”
“I don't feel so gut either,” Anna replied glumly.
“Come inside while I get us cups of tea, and then tell me what's wrong.” Sarah brought over two steaming mugs and handed Anna one.
“Denki.” Anna wrapped her hands around the mug and sighed. “Well I was just at Bird-in-Hand to apply for that horse job. After talking to the lady at the office I realized I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up so high. The position was taken already! If I had been there three days ago I could have gotten it.” Anna moaned.
Sarah hugged her and said, “Oh dear, I'm sorry.”
Anna said a little ruefully, “I guess I should have known better than to do that until I knew for sure.”
“Jah, that is always hard not to do when you really look forward to something. It's happened to me before too,” Sarah agreed.
As they sipped, Anna said more cheerfully, “But she did say they would call if they get another empty position.”
Sarah replied, “I hope you get it, but next time don't get your hopes so high.”
“Oh I won't, I don't feel like getting disappointed again.” Anna said firmly.
____________________________________

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This article has been read 87 times
Member Comments
Member Date
CD Swanson 02/28/14
A realistic portrayl of life and its ups and downs. Very apropos for today with unemployment at an all time high. Well done, leaving the ending open made it that more believable.

But, if you don't mind, since I love happy endings, I will choose to believe she got the job after all because the person hired decided to go elsewhere! LOL...eternal optimist at work!


Good job.

God bless~
CD Swanson 02/28/14
Just so you know...I was "kidding" about my ending....I was having fun.

Your story was excellent, ending and all.

GOd bless~
Hannah R02/28/14
Haha! Thank you very much for reviewing my story! :D All my life I haven't even enjoyed writing that much, especially for essays and stuff ugh. ;) But when I do put my mind to it and do it, I'm even surprised sometimes! But I've always loved reading so... :)I guess I'm starting to imitate what I read lol! And yes I like happy endings too and of course she got the job later on lol!!!! ;) I was so upset that I had to keep the story within the 750 words limit because I added alot more detail that I had to take out, sadly. If you want to read the whole things, here's the link! :)

http://livingbyyeshuasgrace.blogspot.com/2014/02/just-in-nicker-of-time.html

God bless you and thank you again! :)
Allen Povenmire 03/01/14
Very nice writing. Only red ink i would suggest is spacing between your paragraphs, for presentation. I like the accented dialogue very much. Keep writing!
Toni Hammer 03/01/14
This was an enjoyable read. I'm glad that everything wasn't tied up in pretty ribbons at the end.

One note, and it could just be me, but I wish you gave us more of the conversation Sarah had with the lady at the desk about the job. From your dialog, the woman knew exactly what job Sarah was talking about even though no specifics were given, and say later in the story that had she applied three days earlier she would've had it even though that wasn't mentioned either.

Just some constructive thoughts to consider. I hope you keep writing here.
Hannah R03/01/14
Thank you both! I know, didn't realize that this website wouldn't space my dialogue, because I copied and pasted a perfectly aligned story and it messed everything up. :/ I wish so bad you could go back and edit things, that's been bugging me too!

I think you (the last commenter) meant Anna, and yes the lady knew because her father had already spoken to her about Anna, so it's kind of supposed to be understood that she knew what Anna was referring to. Thank you for critiquing! :D
Hannah R03/01/14
Oh and one last thing to Toni. I did have more conversation between those two, but had to remove it and alot of other detail because of the word-count limit. I put the link to my original, completed version in an earlier comment. :)
lynn gipson 03/05/14
I LOVED this story. Your dialogue was spot on, and the pace had me wanting more.

Great writing. I'd venture to say you are an up and comer here on this site.

Delightful.
Hannah R03/05/14
Thank you very much! That is very kind!

BTW, if anyone has tried to private message me on here, I can't see them because I don't have membership. Please email me, thanks! :)
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 03/06/14
Congratulations on ranking 7th in your level. The highest rankings can be found on the message boards.