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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: At Witís End (02/13/14)

TITLE: The Shop Just Down the Street
By Toni Hammer
02/16/14


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Some need to unwind
In their homes with wine
And maybe a friend or three
But if loveís what you want
Please take a short jaunt
To the shop just down the street

Youíll find the weak, the sad, the tired
More than a few who were recently fired
Youíll see some happy, smiling folks
And never guess theyíre all flat broke

The owners say itís their duty, their call
Their supernatural mission
To be the hands and feet of Jesus
Performing the Great Commission

Because at Witís End you pay what you can
Almost all who enter arrive hat in hand
If you want something hot but donít have a dime
Grab a mug, sit down, and enjoy your time

Itís merely a drink
But it sure makes me think
Of how I can bless those in need
Though this place is fictitious
It makes me ambitious
To show love to all those I meet


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This article has been read 572 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Camille (C D) Swanson 02/21/14
What a lovely place you've written about.

My husband and I used to go to such a place, everyone knew each other and it was pleasant too!

It brought a smile to my face and especially the ending about "love" --nicely done.

God bless~
Judy Sauer 02/22/14
You capture the essence of the topic in a unique way.

Reading it aloud is what helped it come to life for me.

Keep up the writing dear talented one.

Rachel Malcolm 02/23/14
This was so enjoyable to read; I finished with a smile on my face. I can picture Wit's End and the people who go there for friendship and comfort.

Colin Swann02/23/14
Very good with a message for us all. Not to hit the bottle but head for the place at the end of street or better still for a hug from Jesus.
Danielle King 02/23/14
This is short, cute and bouncy with a good message to boot. I really like the last verse that summed it all up nicely. Great job!
Yannick Ford02/23/14
I agree with the comment above - your last verse gives a great message!
Noel Mitaxa 02/23/14
The impact of this piece sneaks up through the simple enjoyment that introduces it. Well done.
Judith Gayle Smith02/23/14
At last - hold a cup of hot cocoa for me. Don't forget the whipped cream! I will be there, Bible in hand, Jesus in heart. Loved this!
lynn gipson 02/23/14
Hey, there's a place in my son's neighborhood in Midtown Memphis similar to this! This is lovely, with perfect flow, rhyme, and meter.

Great job. Me thinks me sees another winner! Hoping...

Blessings!
Linda Buskirk02/25/14
Very cute! I have visited such coffee shops and I imagined them with the picture you painted. Rhyming poetry is tricky when you have to find the right words, match the right meter and still tell a flowing story. I enjoy trying it, but keep telling myself I really need a basic poetry review to understand the differences in styles.
Cynthia G. Peoples 02/25/14
Loved it!
Dusty Fontaine02/25/14
Good Job, Toni.
I moved to FaithWriters from FanStory where there is a lot of poetry.
You mixed the rhyming scheme in each verse, which made it a little harder to read, but still the meter was right on.
I was picturing this place more as a soup kitchen than a coffee shop.
I truly enjoyed it.
Camille (C D) Swanson 02/27/14
Congratulations Toni!

God bless~
lynn gipson 02/27/14
Congrats! You are movin' on up with a great pace. You have really done well and I am so proud for you!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 02/27/14
Congratulations on ranking 4 in your level and 34 overall! The highest rankings can be found on the message boards. Happy Dance!!