The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/06/14
Very interesting piece. I like your style of writing, it allows for the imagination to realize what their story may have been?

God bless~
Good flow to your words. Makes one wonder who they were and what their lives were all about.
Well done.
Blessings
To me this seemed a sad history. It made me ask if it pictured me as a young person. I hope not.

The sadness came in seeing two generations let "possible neighbors" slip by without a friendly greeting.

The story was well written but still brought me sadness.

(It is like in our large city Portland, OR where it is hard to get a reply from a cheery 'Hello' from a person walking on the street.)
This is an interesting piece. My mind went to all different things. I wish you had explored it a bit more, maybe even made a story about what the two men did. Your opening line pulled me in and I found myself imagining all kinds of things.

These are little things. The 1950s shouldn't have an apostrophe if you mean it as plural, only if it's possessive like the 50's style of poodle skirts. Also em dashes should be as long as the letter m and have no space on either side--like that.

Those are little things though. I like your unique take on the topic. I've never thought of people being bookends, but it certainly appears like these two were just that. It's also cute how the next generation picks up things from the previous.

You may want to go to the forums and check out Jan's Writing Basics. She is working through the criteria the judges use in the challenge and it's a great help for all levels of writers.