Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Join Faith
Writers
Forum
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Get Our Daily Devotional             Win A Publishing Package             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Making Ends Meet (01/16/14)

TITLE: Caught In The Middle
By Catherine Craig
01/22/14


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

“I can’t work! Dealing with you and your boys made me sick!”

In spite of herself, Sarah’s voice ended in a petulant whine. She caught sight of her expression in the mirror, and cringed.

Oops, she thought.

Feeling sheepish, Sarah unclenched her fists. Taking a breath she back-stepped mentally from her anger. Her eyes, normally a translucent blue, had turned brilliant green, the color of a stormy sea.

Sarah was not at peace.

“Two years, Sarah. Two years it’s been that I’ve been supporting two households. What do you expect from me – you can’t get blood from a rock!” The man across from Sarah countered her outburst, then unfolded himself from his seated position on the couch and stood up. “I can’t do anymore to make ends meet.”

She stared back at him in frustration, and then calming herself, purposely settled back into the overstuffed chair across from him. “Yes, you can,” Sarah said gently. “You can draw a line with your son. Tell him to get a job, Bruce. It’s time.”

“Mom!” A feminine voice broke into their conversation, calling from somewhere in the back of the apartment. “Are you keeping track of time? It’s time to take me to work…” The words trailed off, and before Bruce could answer, their speaker bounced into the room. “Oh, I’m sorry Dad. I didn’t know you were still here,” the petite brunette apologized, and then added as she finished wrapping her waist-length unruly dark hair into its customary bun, “Am I interrupting something?”

“No, honey. I was just leaving for work myself,” Bruce explained. Sarah watched as he reached for the sturdy baseball cap he usually wore when out and about. “Would you like to catch a ride with me, Zoey? I’m going your way, or that is – I can be.”

Sarah caught Zoey’s almost imperceptible sideways glance her way, and schooled her face to reveal nothing. She’d almost slipped.

“Mom, aren’t you planning on taking me?”

Relieved, but feeling slightly guilty, Sarah hedged, “I was, but…”

“It’s settled then,” Zoey hurried into the kitchen to scoop up the brown bag lunch Sarah had packed earlier. “Dad, maybe another day, okay?” She grabbed the black hoodie sweatshirt carelessly thrown on the couch the day before, and pulled it carefully over the hair she’d just pinned into place. “Dad, will you be over for breakfast tomorrow morning, or will you be driving Trevor to school? We could grab a mocha down at Starbucks if you aren’t,” she suggested, nervously looking back and forth between the two of them.

“Bruce,” Sarah began, but swallowed her words. Bruce had that shuttered expression. He wouldn’t listen to anything; he’d closed himself off – again.

“Gotta go,” Bruce tossed the words over his shoulder as he abruptly donned his coat. Pausing with his hand on the entryway door handle, he added, “Bye you two. Have a good day at school Zoey; you have a good day too, Sarah.” Then he was gone.

Not good, Sarah thought. No kiss.

“Mom, I didn’t mean to…” began Zoey.

“Don’t worry about it honey,” interrupted Sarah, gathering her daughter into her arms for a comforting hug. What can I say, she thought? My husband, your step- father, is facing a common problem that many divorced parents face: trying to overcompensate for a split family situation by being too lenient. He hasn’t gotten past his first divorce, and here we are – separated and living next door to each other – he and his boys and I and our daughter, trying to prevent another one.

“You guys were arguing money again, weren’t you?” Zoey asked, breaking into her mother’s agitated thoughts. She pulled away and looked into Sarah’s eyes. “No Mom, I can’t read your mind,” she added grimly. “I heard you.”

“Let’s go, Zoey. You’ll be late for work,” was Sarah’s curt response. “I’m sorry you overheard that, but I don’t want to discuss it with you. Let’s go. Now.”

Two hours later, Sarah stood at the counter pouring steaming hot water over a tea bag into her favorite ceramic cup when her cell phone chirped. Punching buttons, she pulled up a text.

It was from Bruce.

'Am with Trevor. He’s agreed. Needs to get a job. No more loafing. I heard you, Sarah. You’re right; it’s time. I love you. Bruce.'

Tears welled up and spilled down her cheeks, unchecked. “Lord, thank you for speaking to Bruce,” she whispered. “Where would we be without you?


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 139 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Toni Babcock 01/24/14
Great dialogue and descriptive language. I would leave out the word "nervously", and show how she looked nervous instead. Nice writing voice - thanks for sharing.
Camille (C D) Swanson 01/25/14
Very prolific in terms of what many people are facing these days. Great job with this, I felt the frustration and felt the anguish in the husband's position.

Well done.

God bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 01/29/14
You did a nice job with this piece. I liked how you introduced the conflict right away. It drew me in and make me want to keep reading.

I was a tiny bit unsure why he was supporting two families. I think you could have immersed it in the dialog a bit more.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 01/29/14
You did a nice job with this piece. I liked how you introduced the conflict right away. It drew me in and make me want to keep reading.

I was a tiny bit unsure why he was supporting two families at first. I think you could have immersed it in the dialog a bit sooner. For example something like: "Well, you're the one that asked me to move next door with my sons."

You do a nice job with the dialog. It makes the characters feel authentic. You also nailed the topic. It was an interesting read from beginning to end. Nice job.
Catherine Craig 01/30/14
Thank you.
Camille (C D) Swanson 01/30/14
Congrats!!!

God bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 01/30/14
Congratulations on ranking 3rd in your level and 34 overall! (The highest rankings can be found on the message boards)