The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/22/05
Isn't it sad that we adults become so self-centered on our own lives and issues that the children are left to provide for themselves.
I got a little confused with the scene with Freddy, his grandson(?), when he showed him the bus. The boy's response sounded a little like he was talking about some other Grandpa who wasn't present. Don't end a piece with 'The End'. Let your final sentences round off your article and conclude it in a satisfying way. The line that created the most response in me was when he "remembered those cold winter nights when he had to hug himself to sleep". A touching look at a person who had every reason to be angry, but counted his blessings instead.
What an endearing story! :-) Sweet!
11/25/05
Yes, I liked the survivor, and strength, courage, to become the man God put in your heart to become. Very sweet and touching. God bless ya, littlelight