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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Straight From the Horse’s Mouth (11/14/13)

TITLE: A Sucker Is Born . . .
By Judith Gayle Smith


Cheerfully plucking pretty pinecones to fill my gorgeous basket, cinnamon oil fragrancing the lovely arrangement, a low growling catches my reluctant ear. "More junk? You brought home more junk?”

Calmly I respond how beautiful in appearance and fragrance this will be, and the price is so right - just the cost of cinnamon oil.

"What's wrong with you? Why continue to bring stuff home?” I, in full defiant huff, morning mental pills having worn off, softly shrieked "must you always demean my homemaking skills, my creativity, my artistry?"

I should have put on my dog's "Thundershirt" - a wonderful contraption that immediately calms the little fella. It didn't fit my fit. Pushing the limits of any sanity I may have possessed, I immediately got out the trash bags and started chucking everything loose into them. Starting with a bookcase full of Reader's Digest Condensed Novels. I had this bookcase quite hidden behind my organizer on wheels. Never mind that none of these books had been read since I eagerly found them and brought them home - five years ago.

Next came the dolls - dusty little darlings. Snarling at both husband and self, I recklessly decreed that all would go to the local Community Center to be used for Bingo prizes. Then I started stuffing prized knick-knacks - whereupon my sister started praying and desperately rummaging through the bags I had given her to recycle.

By this time my husband is apologizing for having pushed my volatile buttons and telling me the only way he knows I will accept his apology is by my stopping my furious tirade. Over an hour has magically flown by, and exhaustion is running its ruinous little tentacles around my rigid body. And then it hits . . .

What am I protecting? Why am I constantly searching for the perfect "anything" to brighten my day? Half the stuff I have hasn't seen the light of day for many moons. Is it possible that I do have too much stuff? Mind you, I am feeling a mite "peckish" about the impending Bingo prize donations. Do I really want to keep all this battlement fodder or can I actually live without it?

It is that time of year again when everything we have becomes surprisingly mundane and insufficient. When nothing and no one pleases us except sparkling new goodies. We are strong-armed into this rapacious thirst - this unspeakable hunger for more, more and more. Reminds me of a favorite Garfield cartoon strip that showed the irascible feline saying "Gimmee, gimmee, gimmee" for three panels. The fourth panel shows him grinning ear-to-ear and saying "Just getting into the Holiday spirit."

Television ads, catalog temptations all herald the beginning of The Season. Season's grievings. The transition from Halloweens ungodly demands, skipping to and almost obliterating a day that should be given over totally to our wondrous Creator - thanking Him for His goodness, His provision, His Son . . .

Bingle Jells. A sampling from one of my favorite gems, The Hammacher-Schlemmer offerings:

“The Porsche 917 Le Mans Raceway. Description This is the full-sized Porsche 917 replica that conceals a 1:32-scale working wooden slot car track faithful to the iconic Le Mans raceway . . . Item 12005 Price $125,000.

The Personal Submarine. Description This is the two-person submersible that can descend to a depth of 1,000'. Providing access to underwater features such as coral reefs, shipwrecks, and the sea floor, a completely transparent, climate-controlled 3 1/4"-thick acrylic pressure sphere keeps explorers safe while dipping even into the mesopelagic zone, offering a chance to see exotic, bioluminescent species such as lanternfish . . . Item 11726 Price $2,000,000.

The Autographed Authentic Yankee Stadium Seat Barstool. Description Lifetime Guarantee This is the autographed barstool with an actual seat from Old Yankee Stadium, where Yankees fans cheered Reggie Jackson, Derek Jeter, and other iconic Bronx Bombers onto six World Series titles. Removed from the stadium before it was razed . . . Item 11831
Price $8,000 How Many?”

A personal favorite:

“The 1959 Corvette Billiards Table. Description This is the regulation billiards table whose base is molded from an original 1959 Chevrolet Corvette. Built in the U.S., the table meticulously reproduces the classic convertible from real chrome bumper to real chrome bumpers . . . Item 12336 Price $25,000.”

Amazing. I had no idea I could/would/should crave such unimaginable things - but it IS the Holiday Season, after all . . .

Proverbs 30:15 KJV
Luke 12:15 KJV
Proverbs 30:5-9 KJV
Hebrews 13:5 KJV
1 Timothy 6:10 KJV

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Member Comments
Member Date
lynn gipson 11/22/13
Another one of your fine humorous pieces that leaves me smiling as I write your review. Your style, as always, tickles my funny bone. My morning mental pills wear off also, so I knew exactly what you were feeling! Thanks for your way of putting things, so I clearly understand.

Frankie Kemp 11/23/13
This is a very interesting response to the topic. You give us a perspective of ourselves as consumers, "straight from the horse's mouth." For me, this is once again another example of how God uses all of us as writers to speak for Him--the different approaches to the topic are what I enjoy seeing most. May He continue to use you, and may you continue to find Him as you are being used. Isn't that what this writing is all about, anyway? Thanks for sharing!
CD Swanson 11/23/13
Great story that brought forward things to ponder and reflect upon, while allowing the reader to smile due to your obvious dry wit.

Nicely done.

God bless~
Larry Whittington11/23/13
Collecting and using in an appropriate way some of God's creation is commendable.

Collecting but not using items available to us is not so commendable.

Coveting and desiring to collect items (of no real use) is damnable.

You mentioned all of these and we need to examine ourselves to see where we are.

Well written.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 11/24/13
You brought this story to life for me. While I can relate with jhavong a cluttered house, God is whispering what about your cluttered heart. I feel years fill my eyes as I am blessed by your words.
Ellen Carr 11/27/13
You've approached the topic in a very creative way and touched on things that are common to many of us - buying lots of often unneeded things and coveting more. You've challenged us on our attitudes to acquisition of more and more. Well done.
CD Swanson 11/29/13
Congrats! God bless~