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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Winter (11/14/05)

TITLE: Let it Nose?
By Kevin Kindrick


I am a snowflake.

I am not just any snowflake; I am the first snowflake of the year.

I’m clinging to the clouds – I do not want to let go, I don’t want to fall alone. But then the Maker Himself leans down, and with a breath from His lungs, He dislodges my grip, and I fall.

I soar into the afternoon sky, free. The silence is breathtaking; the loneliness is soul-breaking. Why did the Maker force me to fall alone? I look around – none of my brothers fall with me.

I look below and see a city rushing up at me – then I am caught by the wind and sent dancing across the sky; it is exhilarating!

I dance and loop through the air, and my heart fills with the sheer joy of existence. This must be why I was asked to fall first! The Maker wanted me to feel the openness He created above His earth.

Then something inside me says, “No, it goes far deeper than you can know.”

I shrug, trusting now in the Maker’s purpose, then continue my dance across the sky.

When the wind releases me I am over a small cluster of houses, and I can see that I will land among them. Far above me, I can sense my brothers beginning to fall, but they can never catch me from where they are.

As I tumble closer to the ground, I can see people moving around. There are a few cars moving up and down the streets, several children play under the supervision of a group of adults in one yard, but in the next yard over a young child stands alone, looking up into the sky. I seem to be moving toward him.

I watch him as I fall. He seems upset. When I am no more than ten feet above him I see tears on his cheeks, and I wonder why he is standing out hear weeping.

Then I land on his nose, and the cold of my impact seems to startle him. He jumps, and stops crying.

As I begin to melt, I feel his face work into a smile, and he whispers, “The first snowflake. Thank you Jesus.”

He turns to go back inside, and I hear the Maker say, “This is why.”

Now it’s my turn to smile.

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This article has been read 849 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Marilyn Schnepp 11/21/05
A little boy praying for snow! What a beautiful way to write the answer to his prayer. Lovely!
Jan Ackerson 11/21/05
Very nice! I was prepared to shrug this one off as "not my cup of tea", but it grabbed me, and the payoff was great!
Margaret Goins11/23/05
As a children's writer, I loved it. Nice piece.
Julianne Jones11/25/05
Ooh I loved this line: "The silence is breathtaking; the loneliness is soul-breaking". A fun piece with a good message. Keep writing.
Alexandra Wilkin11/25/05
I loved the perspective, and the prose style of your descriptions conjured up such images for me - it was as though I were falling with that snowflake to touch that young boy. Beautiful. God bless.
Nina Phillips11/25/05
What a lovely perspective. Enjoyed reading your story. God bless ya, littlelight
Sandra Petersen 11/26/05
How beautifully written! You interested me from your opening lines and held me throughout. I especially liked the lines "But then the Maker Himself leans down, and with a breath from His lungs, He dislodges my grip, and I fall." and "The silence is breathtaking; the loneliness is soul-breaking." There were many more finely-worded phrases and sentences but I need not tell you that. This piece would make a great illustrated holiday family-read-aloud book. I think it rivals "The Legend of the Candy Cane" and others. Excellent job!