The Official Writing Challenge
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11/21/05
I love this quiet, hopeful peace, and the metaphor is beautiful. Edit out the 2nd person references, and this is worthy of publication in "The Daily Bread" or some such.
This is a very calm, soothing entry. A few things that bothered me grammatically (though not the second person usage - it's the comma usage in some parts for me). Anyway, thanks for posting this. :)
11/24/05
Your article is short and so very true, giving reason for hope. I could form the pictures of your first paragraph in my mind. "numerous colors danced", "glisten and sparkle", and "the colorful landscape will again dance with joy" were my favorite phrases. I liked the thought of the warmth of compassion being like sunlight on snow.
As Jan said, try to edit the second person phrasing out. Two suggestions: "Walking around in a fog, mist forms over the soul." and "Tears fall like icy raindrops until the heart seems frozen over." Also, make use of commas to make the reader pause. Example: "Once there was joy, now only sorrow." This would make a fine devotional piece with appropriate Scripture references. God bless!!
This is lovely: beautifully descriptive and lyrical. Clean up the edits and this would indeed be a very fine devotional. God bless.
11/25/05
Very solemn story. Somber words, to the end that which soothes the soul. God bless ya, littlelight