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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Winter (11/14/05)

TITLE: The grieving soul
By Katherine Bingham
11/14/05


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Winter—

The trees have dropped their leaves. The landscape is barren, brown and gray where once numerous colors danced. White mists of fog cloud the view. Icy raindrops form. The air is no longer crisp but cold bringing a burning sensation to your skin sending shock waves like frozen daggers. Snow falls softly, gently. Peace. Sunlight peers through illuminating the now white landscape as it begins to glisten and sparkle…

This picture of winter can also be seen in the winter of the soul. The grieving soul finds itself shrouded in loneliness. The landscape is barren. Once there was joy now only sorrow. You walk around in a fog, a mist forms over your soul. Tears fall like icy raindrops your heart seems to be frozen over. Memories don’t even begin to comfort. Every tiny hint of life burns like the cold winds of winter. Somehow, through a comforting word, a kind gesture, a passage of scripture—you find a place of rest. Peace comes for but a moment. In the kindness of others you find the warmth of compassion, like sunlight on snow, bringing some sense of hope.

…In time, the early blossoms will peer out of the barren landscape. The gentle spring rains will fall and the colorful landscape will once again dance with joy.


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Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 11/21/05
I love this quiet, hopeful peace, and the metaphor is beautiful. Edit out the 2nd person references, and this is worthy of publication in "The Daily Bread" or some such.
Catherine Pollock11/22/05
This is a very calm, soothing entry. A few things that bothered me grammatically (though not the second person usage - it's the comma usage in some parts for me). Anyway, thanks for posting this. :)
Sandra Petersen 11/24/05
Your article is short and so very true, giving reason for hope. I could form the pictures of your first paragraph in my mind. "numerous colors danced", "glisten and sparkle", and "the colorful landscape will again dance with joy" were my favorite phrases. I liked the thought of the warmth of compassion being like sunlight on snow.
As Jan said, try to edit the second person phrasing out. Two suggestions: "Walking around in a fog, mist forms over the soul." and "Tears fall like icy raindrops until the heart seems frozen over." Also, make use of commas to make the reader pause. Example: "Once there was joy, now only sorrow." This would make a fine devotional piece with appropriate Scripture references. God bless!!
Alexandra Wilkin11/25/05
This is lovely: beautifully descriptive and lyrical. Clean up the edits and this would indeed be a very fine devotional. God bless.
Nina Phillips11/25/05
Very solemn story. Somber words, to the end that which soothes the soul. God bless ya, littlelight