“If you have never seen a pig fly”, my spiritual advisor said, “then an appointment with a specialist will be required”. This would involve a vision test but not just in the form of a large ‘E’ and with the lower lines in different sized fonts.
It was even suggested that the right font for me would be a Baptismal Font. One fact to firmly grasp is that a flying pig will not sink in baptismal waters. Then again, those fonts come in various sizes and shapes. A life-size one would be required for a pig.
Then I was informed that my ophthalmologist would need to carefully measure every aspect of my eyes otherwise he would be unable to write a detailed report concerning my condition. Obviously I have a vitally important element missing. One of the comments made to me was that to see anything flying by me I would need to be alert and would require a much improved rapid focussing mechanism. If that was not part of my natural ophthalmic make-up, then another specialist would be required to design the perfect attachment, either for my physical lenses or my distance spectacles.
An exotic therapist was recommended. Therapist was the right term for her. She was almost a physiotherapist, yet it would be easier to call her an occupational therapist – but neither fully described her. Her main approach was for me to have greater control over what I was looking at; the art to be developed was closely related to my focussing process. She even criticised me by saying that I was lazy and not even trying. “When you have Mastered these exercises you will have no further difficulty when looking at pigs”. I must have had a rueful smile crossing my face, because she angrily dismissed me as someone content with the status quo and with no energetic goals for advanced personal achievement. It was a sad day. This therapist even admitted that she could not help me. The comment I made under my breath was “and no one else either!”
My advisor stated quite emphatically that if I was still confused about pigs flying there is but one last resort. I will need to travel to Germany or Switzerland to find the right person to help me. He had organised one of his secretaries to find the name and address. But he held out no immediate help in obtaining an appointment soon. This specialist was becoming increasingly popular because more people were desperate for his expertise.
After waiting for several months it became my turn. The opportunity was being presented to me to visit his clinic in Switzerland. The ‘Professor’ had set aside a morning to see me. After his full examination he would make his own prescribed design which would be ideal for my condition.
He had not told me his costs, but just by listening to him and noting the luxurious facilities and grandeur surrounding his clinic I knew it would be quite expensive. I geared myself to not be too shocked when he informed me of the costs. He gave me a new date for a fitting. That wasn’t his terminology but that is what he meant.
It was an earth-shattering day. I could see the pigs flying, but the earth all around was in a terrible upheaval. It was a shapeless expanse. He was quick to inform me that he had performed the miraculous for other patients. He failed to guarantee whether mine would be as miraculously successful.
I returned home elated. I now could boast to all my friends about actually seeing pigs flying. They found it hard to believe me. Probably to them I looked too weird in my multi-level and multi-curved lenses for my thick eye glasses, and then there was the multi-tinting to go along with the amusing shapes.
Pigs do fly now.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.