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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Like a Fish Out of Water (10/24/13)

TITLE: Whisperings
By Wesley Hesketh
10/27/13


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Father, can you hear me
as I drift within my dreams?
Or am I just a whisper
lost in all these screams?

My sins have made me dirty;
I cannot see the Light.
Canít tell if Iím up or down-
if Iím wrong or right?

A fish out of water is what I am
gasping for some air.
I cry out from on my knees
to a God I hope will care.

I feel an evil lurking
all around Heavenís door.
But You calm my every fear
so they are no more.

Help me in my weakness
as I stumble all around.
Give me peace in knowing
my Saviorís what Iíve found.

Iím so glad Youíre with me
I can tell Youíre there .
You cleanse me of unrighteousness
You show me that You care.

I can hear Your whispers
as Youíre calling out my name.
Iím swimming in Your Living water.
and will never be the same.


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This article has been read 75 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Charla Diehl 10/31/13
Nice flow and ease of rhyme in this prayerful entry. I enjoyed it.

A tiny bit of red ink:
Give me peace in knowing
my Saviorís what Iíve found.
In this line the word following Savior's should be "Who" ---not what--because it's referring to a person (Jesus), not a thing
CD Swanson 11/04/13
Beautiful and powerful!

God bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 11/05/13
This is a beautiful poem. I ft like you were speaking for me. The message is powerful and one I bet almost everyone could relate to. The rhythm and rhymes felt natural and flowed beautifully. You did a nice job of writing on topic too.

You may want to check out Jan's Writing Basics on the message boards. She gives wonderful advice for all levels of writers and responds to each person who posts on her thread. It's a great resource.
CD Swanson 11/07/13
Congratulations! God Bless~