The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
11/14/05
Thought-provoking.
I must admit I was just a tad bit confused about the scene you played out, but you had an obvious point of the inner battle for beauty.
I want to encourage you, and spent more time rereading this piece than with any other piece so far but still I 'missed it'. I hope its our cultural differences that leave me confused.
I don't know what the other two had to be confused about. This is a beautiful portrayal of love gone awry. You had me hanging on every word, would like to see more.
11/17/05
This is such a powerful piece. And I want to make sure I interpret this correctly. Becca and Red are the same person, but Red is now the forefront person so Becca can hide what she has become. I wish Doug had shared what he did to get through his experience that changed him too. Even if it meant they didn't get back together. This really could be used to show someone that ray of light that points them in the right direction. Or to take the hand that is reached out to them to be lead away from the darkness. A well written piece.
11/18/05
This seems like it's part of a larger work (or should be). It's a very intriguing piece, but it left me with too many questions. Your character development is excellent - Becca's self-analysis is fascinating and realistic.
11/18/05
A very creative story, but I wanted to know why she was where she was.
11/20/05
An intriguing story but you left me a bit confused. The first paragraph seems disconnected from the rest. Why are they hiding in para 1? Because of her internal scars para 7? Why canít she be part of the world? Why does the character, Ďhimí, say the narrator is fine but your narrator tells us that Ďheí knows she isnít. Can identify with your characterís pain, though, too often we hide our wounds Ďunderneath the surfaceí. Yeggy