The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/26/13
If only more people would live by the scriptures in this world, it would be a much better place.

Although my parents never laid a hand on any of us (three in all) we too had the "disciplinarian" versus the "easy one" growing up.

I liked the part where he gave his daughter ice cream when she cried. That was sweet and tender.

God bless~
This is a great testimony. You did a nice job of painting a picture for me. I could easily envision the kids lined up on the sofa.

You may want to use the spot after dialog to give the reader some insight into the personhood the speaker. For example:“Are the girls all lined up on the couch?” The vein in my husband's forehead pulsated. “The boy too?”
I nodded my head as I listened to his tirade.

You make some good points in the end. It does seem like some parents don't care these days. I think many worry more about being friends with the kids. They don't need friends, they are easy to find, but good parents...kids only have one shot at that. I like the Scriptures you used. Make sure you reference them though and give the translation that you quoted.

You did a nice job of covering the topic while delivering an important message. Nicely done.