The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/18/13
This is a lovely, well written and touching entry. Your portrayal of the characters on the bus is realistic and I'm assuming that this is a true experience. Thanks for inviting us into a glimpse of your world.
10/18/13
What a lovely, Christ filled adventure you portray. Your fellow bus riders sound like a group indeed brought together by God. As I've said before, your writing intrigues with its gentle warmth and oh so subtle humor.

I will read this one again, just to get that special feeling you convey with your words.

Blessings, Lynn
10/18/13
I like this.

My suggestion, however, would be to focus on ONE encounter on the bus, and make a story out of it. I think you may have tried to cram too much into one story. It felt a bit... choppy, and I think any one of these encounters could be its own story.

Great job overall. I love the idea of thinking of the bus as a stretch limo. :)
10/19/13
I enjoyed the series of snapshots of the personalities on board your "limo," and for inviting us into your world. Thanks for sharing your journey.
I so enjoyed this piece. I suffer from chronic pain and illness that leaves me homebound much of the time. I long for a bus ride such as yours. It was a pleasure to take that journey with you this afternoon. Thanks for sharing. :)
Your words warmed my heart. Thanks for sharing and taking me on a journey I needed to go on.
10/21/13
Thanks for sharing this story from your life and how you use the bus time to share your faith and enjoy time with the other passengers. Its authenticity shone through.
10/21/13
I loved this. Having fibro myself I especially could relate. This was a highly descriptive piece that held my attention and I felt as if I was right there with you.

Excellent job. Thank you for sharing.

God bless~