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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Exam (09/12/13)

TITLE: My Hairdresser-Loofah Scrubber-Massage Therapist Prepares Me For My Final Exam . . .
By Judith Gayle Smith
09/18/13


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My silvering wild mop of hair needs washing. My forever-grooming-me white Turkish Angora Fifi spits out each nasty strand, fulfilling her duties as my hairdresser, loofah scrubber and massage therapist. She’s joyously kneading my chest, practicing acupuncture quite pointedly.

My blue-veined hands pummel the worn keyboard, saving my thoughts before they float away. There's enough dirt under my fingernails to pot roses; time for some bright red nail polish.

Working with my carefully graduated beads this morning, I examine each shell and pearl with exacting, eye to size, coloration, shape and design. I am a sideways perfectionist, easing out of the ultimate with a touch of “this will have to do.”


My friend's new business, promotes a skin rejuvenator. Before and after photos show quite a difference. Crows’ feet and sad droopy baggy eyes seem to disappear, leaving a remarkably smooth and youthful appearance. I peer nearsightedly into my mirror. I'll by the gallon size.

I went grocery shopping today. I examined several brands of bacon and settled on a meaty marbled slab of thick-cut bacon. I, taste buds dancing, am highly anticipating breakfast tomorrow morning.

I examine my miserly funds for today’s Bingo gabfest, finding enough quarters to keep playing. My thoughtful friend Marilyn examines my face and hurries to massage away the tension knots from Fibromyalgia. I love that gal.

I stopped over at Value Village, my favorite thrift shop. There were many whimsical delights; I could browse forever. I left with a green plush bathmat, and the prettiest little dress.

This beautiful dress is a size or two smaller than me, but I have been losing a wee bit of weight so I celebrated with my Bingo winnings.

I am devouring an insanely wonderful book by Lynne Truss: “Eats, Shoots & Leaves.” This author is a grammar cruncher to the nth degree.
She is British with a dry droll wit. With the “King’s English” she celebrates apostrophes, commas, quote marks and other troublesome tidbits.

This book is so worth examining. I personally suffer at managing hyphens, forgetting the self- rule. Someone was kind enough to suggest I might utilize them now and then.

Often you will find me “Googling” through the internet. I research brands and/or negative comments to protect me from buying questionable items.

After examining myself in the uncompromising, unflattering, glaringly truthful mirror’s reflection, I seek out a belly-busting aid extremely popular today. I don’t often buy such products, but the ads are terrific.

I’m working toward being a svelte and sexy flawless-complexioned seventy-year old tigress for my patient, loving and lovable husband.

Sigh.

I am fairly expert at being me. I can and will examine myself minutely - narcissistically. My exterior self needs drastic immediate work, eating used teabags, exercising albeit reluctantly and keeping my forebrain relatively sharp.

I incite brain cells avidly, being fully addicted to a computer game called “Spider Solitaire.” I occasionally angst about losing what is left of my mind.

I must work on my spiritual physique. God’s Word, His holy Bible presents me with sixty-six books glorifying God: His purpose, His Creation, His Son, His prophets, His will and even that which tickles and delights Him.

He gave me His Word that I’d have new desires and purposes when I carefully examined the writings of these men who were fueled by His Holy Spirit.

I find I am giddy and most passionately in love with Him.

He uses His Word to comfort me, instruct me, break my heart in order to receive His new one, cause me to repent and humbly beseech Him for His will for my life.

Thank you Father, for being the reason and rationale for my life. I pray that when I stand at Your Judgment Seat of the Christ, I will not wilt nor wobble in fear.

What do I fear? Being found out to be the fraud I sometimes believe myself to be.

I must come to You more often. I love to tell people about You and what You are doing for me. I thank You that I may be finding Your Holy Spirit’s Gift for me. I pray it is writing to glorify and magnify Your majesty.

I’m so tired of my motor-mouth speaking without purpose and without the Grace Jesus provides to strengthen me and present me faultless before Your exquisite Throne for my Final Exam.

Amen. Hallelujah. I love You.

KJV 1 Corinthians 11:28
KJV 2 Corinthians 5:10
KJV 2 Corinthians 13:5
KJV Proverbs 3:5-6


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This article has been read 308 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Danielle King 09/22/13
You certainly have a way with words and your detailed word pictures are amazing. The message was clear at the end, but up until then I thought you jumped around from one subject to another and spoiled the flow. It may be that you intended to do that to portray your character's scatter-brained personality. (If the M/C is yourself I do apologise. Don't come looking for me! Ha!) On the whole I thoroughly enjoyed reading this entertaining story.
Nancy Bucca 09/22/13
Very interesting take on topic and quite a bit different (at least at the beginning) from others I have read. It covers a lot of bases. Good job.
Jan Ackerson 09/23/13
During the break in the Weekly Challenge schedule, I’d like to invite you to the FaithWriters forums, where I’m holding a weekly free “class” in various writing strategies. Participation is strictly voluntary, but I give free and timely feedback on all contributions. I’d love to have you drop by! http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewforum.php?f=67
CD Swanson 09/26/13
Congratulations! God bless~