The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
09/08/13
Nice job with this. I liked it.

You have a couple of POV shifts, were you switch to the woman's point of view then back to the newsboy. It might also help if you put the "Another newsboy yelled" before the "Extra, extra!" so the reader knows it's a change of scenes right away.

You did a great job keeping the tension high in this. Nice job.
09/12/13
Congrats! God Bless~