The Official Writing Challenge
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08/22/13
Wow - this was an incredible story. It had my full attention and touched my heart. Nicely done.

God bless~
08/22/13
What a lovely story. It touched my heart. I am an older Christian and I often feel Him brush my shoulder.

Thanks for reminding me just how close our Lord is.
08/23/13
A quiet and moody piece, written with great tenderness.

Be careful of the way you use semicolons, which should be used between independent clauses. A good test is to ask yourself if the clauses on both sides of the semicolon could stand alone as a complete sentence. If they could not, then some other punctuation (usually a dash or a comma) is more appropriate. I'll be having a lesson on colons, semicolons, periods, and dashes in the FaithWriters forums sometime in the next few weeks; I'd love to have you drop by!

Although they were a minor distraction, the semicolons did not take away from your lovely writing and the sweetness of this entry and the heart of your main character.
Thank you Jan. I very much appreciate practical advice. It's now entered in my notebook.Thanks again.
08/23/13
Wonderful story, thank you for sharing it.

I especially enjoyed the "Years have past" paragraph.

Great job!
08/29/13
Congrats! God bless~