The Official Writing Challenge
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I love this story. It's intense and has such a huge part of history in it.

I know it was hard to fit in all that you wanted to say in only 750 words. Because of that, you never really introduced David and his close relationship to James. It's so hard to know what to cut out of a story like this because it is all important to you. I often run into the same problem.

I'm not sure if you needed the paragraph about the first generation who came to America. That may have left more room to expand on the relationship of the two men. I don't mean this as a criticism, just an objective POV from an outsider.

I think you did a wonderful job of pulling me into this story and I'm so glad you are telling it so that people won't forget what it was like only a few decades ago.

Normally, I wouldn't think of America as exotic, but you opened my eyes and made me rethink my homeland and gave me a new appreciation for it. Great job.
What a moving, important story. Is it true? If it is, praise God. If fiction - you have a wonderfully imaginative gift, and praise God . . .
08/17/13
My neighbor claims that it is true. What a great heritage.
08/20/13
What a touching and uplifting story. It made my heart smile...powerful.

God bless~