The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/05/13
This was a sobering story set in a bleak environment, but it gives the reader "hope" at the end. Forgiveness turns the "light" on...so things are no longer as dark as they seem.

Good job with this. The diaglogue and interaction were good. Nicely done.

God bless~
The title fits, and invites the reader to seek the answer the question it poses; what is the regret? I thought the story worked well and I have only one minor suggestion. The sentence, "I’ve found a better way of living that’s more exciting than robbing banks" suggests the man found faith in Christ while incarcerated. But, maybe not. A little clarity here might help the reader. Well done. I enjoyed reading this.
You wrote a real nail biter here. I loved the way it played out. You grabbed my attention immediately and held it to the end.

Some tiny red ink words like Mom and Daddy should start with a capital letter when being used as a name, but lowercase when used with a qualifier like my or her mom. Also, make sure you leave clear clues as to who is speaking,a simple he said will work or you could do something to show the MC's emotions. For example: She clasped her hands under her chin. "Please, Daddy!"

Overall, you have an outstanding, well-written piece. You do a great job of writing on topic and you keep the reader totally engaged.