The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
07/20/13
Well it certainly fits the topic expect i.e. expect the unexpected twist. Thanks
07/20/13
I like how the action moved right along. As so often happens, I wish there were more words so that I could have a fuller picture of the entire event. It was very interesting.
07/23/13
This was certainly different, I really thought it was a well written and clever entry. Nicely done.

God bless~
Wow you do a nice job of building the suspense. I found myself leaning in eager to read more. I know you touched on the topic a bit, but it still might be a tad weak on topic. The judges have criteria that they score and I would guess you scored quite high with your opening and ending which can be difficult to do with only 750 words. Nice job.
07/23/13
The title drew me in. I was a little confused when it shifted scenes but I think that might be because of the problem with the line separating the sections. You built the suspense well and I was shocked to see that it was inspired by an incident on the mission field. Great job!
07/25/13
Thanks all. Yes my friend was part of an outreach team to late night clubbers in a certain country not mentioned. The chief of police saw there efforts and asked them to go undercover into some illegal 'clubs'. His police were to corrupt. They did so at their own risk and at least one was shut down before they left the country. This was my inspiration for above story.