The Official Writing Challenge
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Wow what a thrilling story! I so totally enjoyed this as I leaned in closer eager to capture every word. My heart pounded as the enemy grew closer. I think you also nailed the topic in a fresh and creative way.

The only red ink I would offer would be to start off with a bigger bang. These days, you need to grab the reader's attention in the very first line before they can click to another story. You started out with a passive verb like was. Instead you may want to consider something like this: A faint noise, off in the distance, alerted Eli to the impending doom. Chills rippled down his back as he realized the enemy drew closer with each beat.
That's not perfect, but I hope it gives you a rough idea of what I meant.

After the first paragraph you really took off. I think you did an outstanding job of developing the characters. Oh what a wonderful job you did with Granny. I think she is the quintessential example of a faith-filled Christian and a great model for the world today. I could easily picture the scene unfold in my mind. Oh and what a powerful message you delivered. This is a fantastic read and one of my favorites thus far.
05/31/13
This was absolutely brilliant in every aspect. The story was riveting, and apropos to what's going on today in churches, so much debating, not enough praying.

Excellent job, I loved the ending...fabulous. This SHOULD do very well with the judges. It's a winner for me!

God bless
06/03/13
This is a unique approach to the topic, and very interesting. There is much in it to think about. Great writing.