The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/25/13
Thank you for this honest forthright and poignant story. Congratulations on all your years of wedded bliss. I loved the scriptures, and the way you wrapped up this tender entry.

God bless~
The title beckoned and the intriguing story was a blessing to read indeed. Well done.
05/26/13
What a touching and interesting entry. I was drawn in right away. Thanks for sharing your talent with us.
05/27/13
Your title made me want to read your story.
05/27/13
Lovely story. Touching and heartwarming. Well done!
05/27/13
Oh, this is cute. And I can relate to your MC on one level... I love kids, but, at least for the near future, that's not an option.... A few other things have to fall into place first. :D

The beginning confused me just a bit. I thought you'd go back to the ice cream truck. It broke the flow for me a bit, since it didn't seem to "fit" as well with the rest of the story.

Nice job with this, and very creative.
This really grabbed my heart. I am so blessed with three of the most wonderful creatures as my children that I can't imagine life without them. Lately I've been aching for another baby now that my youngest is almost 20. That pain is very real, yet nowhere near the size or type of your MC.

The opening might have been able to be a bit stronger. It almost felt like the ice cream truck was just there to help mold the story into the topic. Instead you may have wanted to start out with the second line as that creates a sense of mystery.

You do a nice job of transitioning into your message. It is great food for thought and a reminder about just where are hearts should be. Nicely done.
You made the little doll so lovable, I thought it would be nice to hold him. Sweet story.