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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Rattled (05/09/13)

TITLE: Jody
By debbie edwards
05/16/13


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“All right mom don’t get rattled!” he shouted while he walked out to his waiting motercycle.
“I’m gonna get rattled!” his mother screamed in return. “I earned it when I applied for the job to be your mother! It is part of my job!”
“Wow! The young man shouted in return, “I didn’t know that having babies requires a job application! I’ll have to remember that the next time I need to go out and look for a job!”
“You wouldn’t last one hour being pregnant.” His mother said. He jumped once he realized that she was standing right next to him. Where did she come from?
“Besides.” She added, “You have to finish school first before you apply for any job. Your father says that you have not been doing well in math and science. You barely made a passing grade in history.”
“I just don’t like hearing about any dead guys. He protested and plucked up his helmet from the hot leather seat of the motercycle.
“So learn about dead gals then.” His mother said and snatched the helmet from his hands. Sean grabbed the helmet back from his mother and rammed it firmly on his head. “Gotta go mom.” He said firmly.
“To where?” his mother asked and pulled the helmet back off of Sean’s heavy weight head. She knew he was a lamb inside of a huge lion’s body. Women would give their eye-teeth to stand in his shadow. He was only 17 but looked as if he was 21. “Where are you going that you would defy me?” she asked again. This time, she held the helmet behind her back so that he would have to reach through her to ever hold it again let alone plop it on his massive skull.
“It’s Jody’s birthday.” Sean sighed and leaned on the motercycle seat slightly but not enough to knock it over. “I just wanted to surprise her.
“Jody, Jody, Jody.” His mother tapped her carefully manicured nail to her left hand on her chin. “I have never heard of her. Are you in love with this person?”
“Absolutely.” Sean said and reshifted his heavy boots.
“Yeah? How long has this been going on?” His mother asked trying to hide a smile.
“A while.” He answered and took off his jacket to surrender the idea of going anywhere. “I thought you knew her?”
“How can I know her?” his mother asked and handed him back the helmet. “Come back right away please. I want you to do your homework if this Jody person does not disctract you from what you are supposed to do. Love tends to be distracting. So when do I get to meet this amazing Jody?”

“Oh I dunno mom.” Sean answered and put his arms back into his sleaves. “Soon I guess.”
“Why not invite her over for dinner.” His mother suggested trying to act as coy as she possibly could.
“Maybe.” He said and flew his muscular left leg over the seat to straddle the bike.
“Maybe?” his mother asked and grabbed the handle bars so he would not leave quite so soon. “What would stop her from coming pray tell?” His mother was quite intriqued by the conversation.
“A few things.” He said and sat down. His mother was growing impatient with his “no answer” answers.
“Well, maybe I at least know her mother. I would like to meet her mother.” His mom tried to hold on to what ever patience she had left.
“Her mother is dead.” He said and stepped the gear down hard to start the motercycle.
“Poor baby.” She said. To have your mother gone as such an age. What about her father?”
“Her father is dead too.”
“EXCUSE ME! MISTER EVAISIVE DO NOT LEAVE UNTIL MY QUESTION IS PROPERLY ANSWERED PLEASE!!!!! I AM TRYING TO HELP YOU HERE!” His mother screeched.
“Ok.” Sean held his hands up in the air “Don’t get rattled mom please.” He then turned off the motor of his motorcycle. “I’m sorry if I have not told you about my friend Jody mom. It just sorta-happened. Sorta.”
“Oh love at first sight I love it.” His mother almost sang changing her tune once again. “Loves bloom.”
“Not exactly mom.” Sean sighed
“You see.” Sean cleared his throat and spoke slowly. “Jody is 97 years old. She lives in a nursing home where I visited when I was doing community service for the school. She doesen’t have any family.”


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This article has been read 85 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Sunny Loomis 05/22/13
Sometimes one has to wait for the whole story. Well done. Thank you.
Laury Hubrich 05/22/13
Ahhh, sweet ending to this mother-son conversation. One thing to watch when writing is repeating words. I saw quite a bit of that. Loved this story!
CD Swanson 05/22/13
awww. I loved this whole thing! It was so good, and a real powerful ending.

Nice job. God bless~
Judith Gayle Smith05/22/13
The ending charms me. A good, interesting story.

If I may, please consider a spellchecker and punctuation guide. I understand all too well the desire to SHOUT using capital letters and exclamation points. I have been red penciled quite a few times for flying with these.

All in all, a terrific exchange between mother and sin, and a thoroughly enjoyable read . . .