The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/18/13
We all know people like that. My dad had a "look" also. You did a good job.
05/21/13
Chatterboxes never seem to pick up on "social cues." Guess they're too busy talking. :) Good job of showing the frustrations and learning patience too.
05/22/13
This is SO hilarious. You sent giggles to every part of me. You were so gentle and kind with your children. I know I never could have handled the embarrassing moment before all eyes and ears as gracefully as you did. What colorful moments the Lord gave you to write about. I love all of your descriptions. This piece is truly a winner to me. God Bless you in your writing. Obviously, He already has.

Francie
I was dubbed "motormouth". Hoo boy can I relate! My Dad would stare at my eyebrows and rant . . .
I truly enjoyed the story. You had me smiling from beginning to end and nodding my head in agreement.

A tiny bit of red ink would be to not use the topic word as much. You did an excellent job of showing me you were rattled by your terrific descriptions. Another thing you may want to consider is save the exclamation points for dialog. Instead let Your words do the exclaiming for you.

You had a fantastic beginning. It drew me in immediately. I felt like I was listening to a dear friend. You also have a delightful sense of humor. I did so want to know what the kids thought was so important to tell you as your husband sat by. :) I loved that part because it feels so...typical! I think you did a great job with this piece.
05/22/13
Many people will be able to relate to this clever and fun story! Nicely done. I really loved this.

God bless~