The Official Writing Challenge
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04/18/13
This is really interesting. The title really grabbed my attention because I have a thing about elephants. I wonder if you couldn't come up with a fun rhyme and verse much like your Mom did. Kids love those things and like you have shown the rhyme tends to stay in people's mind longer. The only read ink I have is to make sure you give the book, chapter, and verse to all of the Scriptures mentioned. (If you do it in an author's note at the end, it doesn't add to the word count.) You covered the topic in a fun way and then transitioned smoothly to your message. Good job.
04/18/13
I had completely forgotten about the boy sneezing seven times when he was brought back to life. I loved your story and as a Sunday school teacher to the younger kids I can relate all too well! I enjoyed this very much.
04/21/13
Pure delight!
04/22/13
I found all of the aspects's of your story fascinating, I love that you had your piece start out with this wonderful nursery rhyme that had never heard of before. Then, I thought it was marvelous how you tied that in with the Biblical story of Elisha, and the boy who died with the sneezing and coming back to life through using the nursery rhyme as a teaching aid. The only red ink I have is the ending fell a little flat for me and left me wanting to know how your Sunday School class received the story. This was a very imaginative piece though and very well told. God's blessings to you.
04/24/13
Great Story. I learned that rhyme a little differently. "The monkey he got drunk and sat on the elephants trunk." Your version is better! Keep writing!