The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/14/13
Wow - powerfully written and told. This was an emotionally charged entry, nicely done.

God bless~
Wow,you tell a powerful story here. I could feel the suspect building right is the very beginning.

The only thing I would suggest, unless it's being used as part of name, is doctor should be written out.

I think you did a great job of writing on topic while still telling a suspenseful and meaningful story. Good job.
You should have "thrown a brick" for this - it deserves a greater audience. I have had pain from Kidney stones so can empathize a bit with you - the sudden shock of pain and then everything seems to fall apart as you come apart. Uncontrollable, sickeningly shocking and piercing. If this is a true story, my heart is hugging yours. So well written and felt . . .
You had me from the very beginning of this powerfully gripping story. I have been there on the floor before not being able to get up but it wasn't due to glass coming out of me (how awful for you, if this is a true story), it was because of my fibromyalgia. God is always so amazing how He will use an event to help shed light on something that we need to see such as that tumor. I wasn't sure about your two back to back semi colons in that one sentence. Maybe it is okay to do that. Other than that this piece was riveting, on topic and I loved the message at the end. We aren't in control of our own lives that is for sure. I have had to learn that the hard way. I am so glad your story placed. It was such a deserved win. I am going to be looking for your writing in the future girl. It is also interesting that God can use the things we cherish most to humble us. I had something I cherished break just last week that broke my heart so this piece was especially timely for me. Blessings to you...
One more thing, I agree with Judy, you should have thrown a brick for this piece. If you need any help with that, let me know. I got a lot of great help when I first got here. Maybe you have been here for a while, just thought I would offer... Take care.
03/22/13
The tension in the front of this piece had my attention. I enjoyed the way you allowed us to follow your process of seeing a spiritual lesson that was taught in the breaking of the treasured item and the injury that followed.

Your quote in the end, "My job is to rest. Unclench my fists of control, relax, open them and allow Him to take care of the details of life. Fear flees. I can trust Him to take care of the details tomorrow brings."

So true, and so hard for us at times to learn.
Congratulations on ranking 3rd in level two and 15 overall!