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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Sharp (03/07/13)

TITLE: I'm Not That Sharp!
By Rita Minner


Iím Not That Sharp!

The pain shook me to the core; I lurch forward in agony as my left hand reflexively finds its way to my right side. The precious china gravy boat slips out of my other hand and crashes to the floor just before I do. It shatters to pieces spewing gravy across the kitchen floor as I scrunch into a fetal position.
My husband should hear the commotion. I call out for him−no answer. I yell his name, louder this time, ďFrank, Iím dying here!Ē This is worse than labor and I must look like a beached whale swimming around in this gravy. Where is a telephone when you need it? The cell phone is in my purse on the counter; I try to get to my knees to reach for it. Itís only then I see the shard of glass protruding from the heel of my right hand and a steady pulsating stream of blood dripping off my wrist. I didnít even feel its razor-sharp slice and without thinking, I pull it out; Big mistake! Now a nice little river is flowing. Can things get any better? I shout again, ďFRANK!Ē The only response is the monotonous drone of our lawnmower. I reach for my handbag and everything clatters out to join me on the floor. I manage to dial 911 and while it seems like a lifetime, only minutes pass before I hear ambulance sirens. The big honking noise grows louder and louder. The next thing I see is my husbandís horrified face as he leads the charge of emergency personnel through the front door and into our kitchen. What a sight!

Tests, X-rays, blood tests, an MRI and a diagnosis later, leaves us stunned. A large egg-sized tumor on my liver is discovered. Surgery is day after tomorrow and the kids are flying in. This reversal is flooring to say the least (pun intended), as I am always the individual to take charge, wrap it up, get everything organized, the all-our-ducks-in-a-row-and-get-things-done person. I am in control, always! Now my husband calls off work to take care of me and my children will sit at my bedside to hold my hand in a consoling gesture. That too is irritating because I canít use my right hand. Evidently the remnants of my great-grandmotherís gravy boat nicked a nerve and I canít move my thumb or close my hand; A piece of china I guarded so closely; I wouldnít use it when my children were small for fear theyíd break it. Ironic, isnít it? The Dr. said my hand should get better after some time if Iíd just relax and rest it awhile. If he knew my personality he might see this as highly problematic. This whole nightmare is worse than swimming around on the kitchen floor in gravy. Will someone please wake me up?!

While the happy medicine the nurses inject shaves the edge off the pain in my side; Fearís razor chisels into my heartÖI CANíT be sick. Thereís too much to do, too much I still want to do. I donít have time to die. I never allowed myself to think about dying. I have always been the person to take care of the details in our lives. Control makes me feel secure. All these thoughts are swimming around in my mind. Then, with brilliant clarity, reality rolls through the cobwebs of my medicated mind. Just as this pain came without warning; I had no control over it. The precious china I guarded and kept from my childrenís hands, sharply cut into my own and injured it. I had no control over this either and now my hand lays open and useless. No clutching, no control.
The sharp realization that Iím not, nor have I ever truly been in control is as shocking as the sight of that glass sticking out of my hand. Even though I always fool myself into believing I am in control of my life, my husbandís, my childrenís; Iím not and never have been.

I can release my fists of control and rest in the One who loves me so much, He died for me. My job is to rest. Unclench my fists of control, relax, open them and allow Him to take care of the details of life. Fear flees. I can trust Him to take care of the details tomorrow brings.

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This article has been read 279 times
Member Comments
Member Date
C D Swanson 03/14/13
Wow - powerfully written and told. This was an emotionally charged entry, nicely done.

God bless~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 03/15/13
Wow,you tell a powerful story here. I could feel the suspect building right is the very beginning.

The only thing I would suggest, unless it's being used as part of name, is doctor should be written out.

I think you did a great job of writing on topic while still telling a suspenseful and meaningful story. Good job.
Judith Gayle Smith03/20/13
You should have "thrown a brick" for this - it deserves a greater audience. I have had pain from Kidney stones so can empathize a bit with you - the sudden shock of pain and then everything seems to fall apart as you come apart. Uncontrollable, sickeningly shocking and piercing. If this is a true story, my heart is hugging yours. So well written and felt . . .
Alicia Renkema03/21/13
You had me from the very beginning of this powerfully gripping story. I have been there on the floor before not being able to get up but it wasn't due to glass coming out of me (how awful for you, if this is a true story), it was because of my fibromyalgia. God is always so amazing how He will use an event to help shed light on something that we need to see such as that tumor. I wasn't sure about your two back to back semi colons in that one sentence. Maybe it is okay to do that. Other than that this piece was riveting, on topic and I loved the message at the end. We aren't in control of our own lives that is for sure. I have had to learn that the hard way. I am so glad your story placed. It was such a deserved win. I am going to be looking for your writing in the future girl. It is also interesting that God can use the things we cherish most to humble us. I had something I cherished break just last week that broke my heart so this piece was especially timely for me. Blessings to you...
Alicia Renkema03/21/13
One more thing, I agree with Judy, you should have thrown a brick for this piece. If you need any help with that, let me know. I got a lot of great help when I first got here. Maybe you have been here for a while, just thought I would offer... Take care.
Linda Berg 03/22/13
The tension in the front of this piece had my attention. I enjoyed the way you allowed us to follow your process of seeing a spiritual lesson that was taught in the breaking of the treasured item and the injury that followed.

Your quote in the end, "My job is to rest. Unclench my fists of control, relax, open them and allow Him to take care of the details of life. Fear flees. I can trust Him to take care of the details tomorrow brings."

So true, and so hard for us at times to learn.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 03/22/13
Congratulations on ranking 3rd in level two and 15 overall!