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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Sharp (03/07/13)

TITLE: Surprise From The Window
By darlene thompson
03/12/13


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The clangor and shuffle of boxes grated back and forth against the wooden floor. The hot, sultry July day popped out beads of sweat on our brows as we loaded box after box into the moving van. My teenage brother, sister and myself scrambled to make sure all our precious cargo was loaded. As the heat built, my mother became more and more uncomfortable. Finally, she yelled to my brother, "Dallas! Raise the window! I'm suffocating!"

No one paid any attention as my brother propped open the window. The cool wind rushed over us. Being a curious six-year-old, my eyes focused on the bright, long silver object in the window. Soon my little fingers grabbed the object and gave a tug. Click, click--down came the window with thud. A hot, sharp pain tore into my thumb and hand. With wild screams and tears, I dashed toward my mother. Blood spurted all around my hand. Quickly, my mother grabbed some cloths and towels and applied pressure to the cut.

My family shoved me into the car and we sped to the doctor twenty miles away. The doctor sewed up my hand with cat gut. Seven stiches were required to close the chasm. I stared at the jagged scar. My brother and I both learned a valuable lesson. He found out a switchblade made a poor choice to hold up a window and I learned curiosity can be very dangerous!


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This article has been read 136 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 03/14/13
I think this is a great story. You covered the topic and I found myself first smiling and then wincing. You did a good job.
CD Swanson 03/14/13
Oooh, good job with this whole piece. It is packed with emotions in a short but powerful way.

God bless~
Vince Martella03/18/13
Interesting, short and sweet story. Kept my attention throughout. Good job.
Richard Hicks03/19/13
Very descriptive and I actually had to say "ouch" out loud. Very well written and I wanted to read more.
Judith Gayle Smith03/19/13
A child and curiousity - the natural order of things. Great story!