I am the Histrionic artsy soul who seeks too much flattering attention for my highly questionable varied talents – until I am unexpectedly called upon to perform. Example – I cannot pass up a magnificently polished double keyboard organ without blissfully gracing its glowing finish with unstoppable drool. Magnificent sonatas flood my brain – oh so many beautiful hymns to praise our glorious God! But the message fails to animate the fingers on my recalcitrant left hand.
Hardly fair – for far too many years I had been a terrific high-speed keypunch operator – keying punch cards initially to be used by humongous computers that required large rooms of their own. My talented left hand flowed ecstatically with my right hand, creating documents that dominated my erstwhile career. My graceful obedient flying fingers knew well the requisite “home keys” – absolutely nothing was too challenging for my dependable faithful diligent digits.
Until the day I found a Casio Keyboard at a garage sale for only twenty-five dollars. Eager! I couldn’t wait to fire it up! Having no stand for it, I set the clumsy unbalanced keyboard on my lap, using my shaky left hand to hold the hymnal from which to send thrilling melodic strains to Heaven.
This was my first mistake. Having attempted to tunefully sing in choirs most of my life, I am somewhat able to – albeit fragmentally - sight read the soprano and alto parts. Stanzas never frayed me - until now. How to play the lower register? Holding the hymnal was vital, as I did not know how to play “generically” from the glories prayerfully lodged in my faulty memory. Being extremely nearsighted, I held the heavy awkward hymnal close to my eyes and carefully, hesitantly and too often erringly pieced out the melody with my right hand. Recognizable - somewhat. Not good, but a shaky tuneful attempt has been offered.
I was quickly becoming extremely discouraged. My loving Preacher husband valiantly sang along with my botched playing, but baritoned much too fast for my faulty rhythm-challenged fingers. I gave up attempting to play for many years. A key accidentally broke, and I placed the keyboard in the closet where it remains dusty and forgotten.
Found a wonderful keyboard for fifty dollars – another yard sale. Interest once again was piqued. But I repeated the same inane mistakes I had made before. Discouraged, I thought it might be the type of music I had chosen to play. I decided to replace the hymnal with a lively Disney Songbook and a late Fifties to early Sixties Rock music book. Then I misplaced these books. Still haven’t found them. Broke a key on this newer keyboard – I promise, not deliberately. Pride was definitely seeking a place to fall.
While penning this dubious prose I find myself taking breaks playing “Spider Solitaire” and halfway watching old movies playing in the background. Maybe this is part of my problem. Not applying myself directly to the task at hand. Dispersed thinking leads to my inability to win the silly game, understand the confusing movie – and, of course – complete this now sobering article.
I see boastful undeserved pride, discouragement, ill planning, repeating the same errors expecting different results, and changing venues fiercely competing for my attention. I stayed up awfully late last night trying to plot cleverly thematic storylines around the word “key”. So many applications, usages, anticipated themes. Boring – until I remembered the ultimate key that I missed hitting all along – humility. Pride numbing humility is the skeleton key that opens our Majestic God’s Heart. How could I forget? Without abject humility where is believable true repentance? Where is my hunger for Jesus – do I even know I need Him? And so the lonely broken keyboards sit until someone truly knowledgeable teaches me how to rightfully play – and I finally open my Bible and pray, preparing to unlock His Word.
I Peter 5:5 “Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.
6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:”
KJV Luke 15:7 “I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.”
KJV Matthew 4:17 “From that time Jesus began to preach, and to say, Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand."
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