The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/07/05
Very nice! This story held my attention all the way. I liked the ending too. There were a few lines that perhaps could be changed..like when she asked her name..it seemed like it was backwards or something..not sure..but it didn't quite flow there. Just a thought:)
11/11/05
Nice beginning and approach. I think this could be expanded to create more drama and excitement. Action and more conversation would be ways to do that. Best wishes with this piece.
11/12/05
I want to hear more... this story had my attention.. I guess if I knew the song she was sining, I believe that was the ending.. Great job..
11/12/05
singing not sining...
oops